Hi. So I would like to make this something of a promise post for myself, and hopefully a motivation story for someone who will try to swallow the red pill someday.This Is more of my journey towards the red pill on my own (or rather smelling that there is something like that, `cause mind you I found RP not more than 2 months ago). Реу post is not about girls only but more about life as a BP before today(and no, nothing actually great did not happen to day. I think this was builing up for a few years and blew up to day). Because at this point (may 22 2015) is just the begging and not the end.

I 25 in a few month and fat (35%BF), with no actual goal that I'm going to. I don’t have money problems but what I make is not enough(yes everybody thinks that but, does in metter?). Don't get me wrong I'm not complaining that life is or was unfair to me, as every one I had my highs and had my lows. What brought me to red pill is the realization that I'm strolling through my life, but not in a good "have all that you want" kind of way but in "every day passes as any other day" and so it has been from the time I've approximately 18. I had 1 serious relationship (2 years). The girl was nice, sex was like fcking a 2x4, but I did not complain much because I'm filed with fat as a deep fryer and she is nice looking with good butt and breasts. So fast forward a year-1 1/2 and she is starts acting like a cranky wife in 30 year marriage, meaning less sex, which is still sad and is exiting as tax report. Here is what I can remember of this passionate stuff: 2 hand jobs, 0 blowjobs, 2 times doggy, everything else is missionary(passionate life of a guy in his 20s). So few more month of this stuff and I end it(unknowingly), just turn around and walk away (literary) no goodbye or anything. My thoughts:"If she cares at least a little she is going to call/text/write/come up....". Should be right? WRONG motherfcker! WRONG! The girl who I genuinely thought I loved (said it and she certainly said it back) didn't give to shts about "Us". Until a break like little btch and call her (not to come back together or anything, just was interested how was she) Comes a lot of chatter of “how are you/how that friend of yours/ how’s school….” And than she starts to tell me how she made out with that one guy that I know and how it was just nothing, with constant telling me “we made out”, “we made out”, “we made out”… My thoughts “why would you want to hurt someone that you love?” (I know that by this point a lot of you will thing that I’m a pathetic BP fool and you would be right, because looking back at my self at that time no “nice” words are coming to mind). Once, still when we were dating she and my “best friend” were rolling around in a bed(sex/kissing/touching) like just friends, you might be thinking “well that fuked up” but I’m notjealous and can take a joke, and it was one in reallity set up for me and stuff, but what I did notice is that if it wasn’t for stuff that they pitied me or “well he’s my friend” they would fuk so the roof would flyaway. I knew My best friend could do it (he was a pusyslayer. Still is) and she would take it I just could see it in her eyes. But as a proper BP I was thinking “I’m just making this up, she loves only me and whould never do something like than” and as it would be proven later in a few month I as right she was asking for his number. As I know they didn’t meet ‘cause my “best friend” decided to spare my fillings or something (an honestly I think I'm grateful for that). Few month pass I fixated on her like flies on sht. I started having constant arguments with my reind till the point were from a group of 20 people that I CONSTANTLY hanged out with I had 2 (time saver tho =) ) And truth be told if that was not for those people I would not have even one friend because I buried my self in stuff I need to do/huge plans/tv shows/video games/porn/…

So it’s almost a year-2 since we broke up and I don’t want anything from life money/sex/dreams. A nice opportunity turned up. I got a chance to work abroad for a year no old friends and no parents (and as any millennial I’m still close to them and always know that they got my back)/ I noticed wonders I got stronger mentally, lost some weight, fucked two prostitutes (weak but better than hand =) )The job was physical and long hours 10 a day/7 a week (maybe for some of you it is not but I mainly worked from computer before that so…) but I knew what I was going for and everything was hard, but good. And then.. I came back home, and I felt back to the same old sh*t, study this, learn this…

Girls that I was meeting fell in to the same group, or rather I fell in to the group of “the guy you will date and you can tell your parrents about because he is smart, has a good job, but in actuality you date him because all the Real Mtn (alphas) either fcked you and dont what any thing from you, or just dont anything from you=)” Here comes the 2nd part. Due to the fact that I’m fat and was from middle school. As every fatas you have decision to make: lose weight and become more “socially un-ugly” (still didn’t happen) or become smart, develop a funny personality, be heplfull. Was not athletic but stuff like languages, art, math, computers, intellectual games were actuallyeasy for me (cause I didn’t worry my self with stuff like pusy and was STUDYING(pathetic fck!))

3rd Part. My mom is a nice lady who was raised in the time were when you study good and get a profession with a diploma you’ll be set for life, an in all honesty it worked for here , but I was a different story, or rather am(it’s difference era and not everyone transitioned good from what was true 20 years ago to what is in 2015(evolution thery at it’s best”only those who can adapt will survive” and it is true in social life as much as in wilderness)).I know that is not what I want (and I did try it hard. Just trust me, the random guy on the internet =) )Dad was a drunk and could possibly be a Alpha in making but wasted his life on booze.

By this point you might be thinking “what the hel are you trying to tell me?” and truth be told if you are not familiar with this stuff you’ll think that this is my whining about how life treated me wrongly, but it’s not. The post is, most likely, for a guy like my self (fairly intellectual, have a lot of hobbies) and what I want to say to this fellow is “STOP BRUH!”. If you are like me you thougt if I will be smart, will know the difference between B.B. King and Frank Zappa, will identify Rembrandt or Monet btches will be all over me –WRONG! No one except your family will give two shts? The best you can hope for is “the smart guy in the group” which I am right now, and no pusy is falling out of anywhere. Don’t get me wrong if you like to do something do it, learnt and become better but PRIORITIZE, I can not stress this enough. As for me, and trust me, I did it the wrong way to many times to know what not to do (imagine playing minesweeper in reverse to win it) all the chess/go/shogi playing ,portrait drawing,left hand writing, book reading (with a few exceptions to down to earth psychology), guitar/piano playing its worth sht if: you look like a puddle of mud, your confidence is build on not being strong personality who can take this life by ears and fuc it in the mouth, but by being funny/smart “no di*ck” guy in the group (you pretty much are like Ken), and don’t have at least some cash (but not for her.For YOURSELF. So you can afford the life what you want).

So to rap this up. Will hopefully be bloggy kind of thing for me, and an idea of what no to be, or how not to be doing “it” wrong for some one like me if you are in you 20’s. I wasted 5 years of my life(here is great example of how procrastination & plaining over doing can f*ck you up) on stuff that DOES NOT work, getting in return a wired felling of accomplishment/pride for stuff like: knowing few more languages than “the other guy/gal”, having few more degrees and knowing what’s and when’s of WW2. This brought me (maybe this will not be so for you) to realization that I have to change my life around, as my old habits are just stealing my time. Through not that long life of mine, I found some glimpses of what I (and again I, maybe not you) what my life should be(or rather what I want). This leaves me only one choice get the “perfect” body(that is subjective,but still I know what I am going for), leave this job that I’m having right now and venture on a old idea that I gave. I had a pretty passive life for what I can tell and that’s exactly what I NEED to change. So if you “feeling” me on this one:”my friend, don’t waste your time on stuff that “might be cool” and focus on stuff that you really need, not impress someone, but be loyal to your dreams”

My day for 3 month (and than we will see): 7.5-h sleep 1h-workout 1.5h-misc. stuff that needs to be done and transportation (I live in a small town so I can =) ) 10h-work (Daily) 4h-off time (2 times a week)/work again (5 times a week)

I know that in a way this is a vent out post for some of you, but I meant every word of it.

I will post how my results (semi regularly) are going so if at least one guy like me will read this will know that there is something he can do because there is a success story (A.K.A. Me =) )

P.S. I’m sorry if there are some mistakes English is not my first language some forms of sentences might be of =)