Although I just recently made an account, I've been reading this sub well over a year now; I have gained a lot of knowledge and wisdom from you guys, and for that, I thank you. With that being said, I feel that I should give something to this community. And since I'm still low SMV, the best way would be to share my blue pill story. I think there can never be enough blue pill examples. No one story will make you swallow the pill, but continuously reading RP and BP examples, along with enough good old life experience, will help the most blue pill man change his ways. Anyways, here's my story:
4 years ago, I met a girl (let's call her Dee) at my former job. I was 22, she was 28. She was cute, had a nice body, and didn't seem to go for the "assholes" that most women went for. We worked in a factory. She worked on one side and I in another, which didn't give me much time to flirt. After a couple of days of hanging around the entrance to catch her punching in, I made her laugh enough that she agreed to give me her number.
Brace your self boys, shit is about to get real blue.
So after texting and trading grins at work, we decided on a night when we were both off to go on a date. We go to movies. I remember the movie exactly. Contagion. While watching the movie, I tried to sneak in a kiss but she'd turn her head. I tried to put my arm around her but she'd gently take it off. At this point, I was angry that I misread her signals and just focused on the movie. Pretty meh. Jason Bourne is starting to show his age. Hey look it's Morpheus!
When the movie was over, we headed out to the parking lot. The movie ended at around midnight. We stayed in my car talking until almost 5am. She was a really great person to talk to, and my beta self was just happy that a woman that wasn't related to me and wasn't fat was talking to me. And of course, I tried to steal a kiss here and there (the thirst was real). And as expected, she wouldn't let me trade saliva with her. When I kindly asked why she wouldn't let me kiss her, she said, "After three dates, I'll let you kiss me." Yes, you read that correctly. Three dates equals a kiss!! At the time I thought, "Shit, I found an honest girl that isn't a slut and isn't fat! Boy am I lucky!" The only women I messed around prior to Dee were fat chicks. I was overweight myself and I couldn't be a hypocrite and want a skinny girl...you know, following what society told me. Eventually I lost weight and Dee was the first girl I tried dating post weight lost. So in my blue pill mind, I thought that an attractive girl that made me wait, not only for sex, but for a kiss was a godsend.
"The fool doth think he is wise..."
So I dropped her off at her house kiss less, yet full of hope. I went on two more dates with her, one to a family restaurant and another to a bowling alley. And each time we'd go out, we'd talk for hours about everything. Life, work, politics, you name it, we discussed it. So on the third date, we park in front of her house and I reach in for the kiss. Me being being horny (I was on a year long dry spell at the time), go in with the intention to clearing out her esophagus. She stopped me after a few seconds and told me to "save some for next time." And so I did. Once a week (usually Sunday), we'd meet up, go on a date, make out, then I'd drop her off at her house. I thought his was normal. I thought that spending money on a girl that would only make out with me was worth it. After the 5th date, I mentioned sex and when we would have it. Get ready gents...
She told me she'd have sex with me after three months of dating her.
Dee sure loved the number 3. So again, my blue pill self thought, "Wow this girl is really something. Making me wait a whole three months! I truly am lucky!" Mind you, before her I used to fuck those aforementioned fat chicks on the first and second date. When she told me I'd have to wait three months, I thought, "Those fat girls had low self esteem and opened their legs for anybody. This girl is the real deal." If only I knew AWALT.
Before I reach the conclusion of this epic failure (or success since I found TRP after this), let me tell you a bit about Dee. She was born to a strict family of farmers in Puerto Rico. When she was 24, she met a an illegal Cuban immigrant that practically swam his way to PR to escape our favorite communist. He was a smooth talker and wooed her into marrying him. The dude did everything the old school way; met her parents, took her out on dates ect. (Kind of what I was doing). He didn't even see her naked until the day of the wedding. This all came from Dee so take it with a grain of salt. So they move to a big city to the U.S. The Cuban was a handy man so it wasn't hard for him to get a job as a contractor. He made good money and she reaped the rewards. Fancy restaurants every weekend, impromptu trips to Canada, and of course, shopping. This only lasted a few years because the Cuban had a girl back on the Island and would go visit her while lying to Dee that he was just going to Canada for work when in reality he was fucking his third world high school sweetheart. Dee was very close to his family and eventually told her what was going on. She kicked him out the apartment and but told him he still had to pay rent, insurance and everything else or else she'd go to immigration and say the marriage was a scam. I don't know the specifics of how that would work, but I didn't asked because I honestly didn't care. So the Cuban, not wanting to go back to Castroland, agreed. During the time she was separated from her husband I was one of the, what I presumed to be many, men she dated.
So the three months go by and I ignore all the red flags that she was obviously not into me.
Flag #1 During our weekly make out sessions, I would have a massive erection (dry spell, remember?) and her hand would bump into it. It shames me to say this, but every time her hand grazed my erection she would break off the kiss, and yank her hand back and look at at my goofy, school boy grin with disgust. When ever that happened, the make out session would be over and I'd feel guilty as hell over it.
Flag #2 She would rarely pick up her phone. I'd call her but she didn't pick up; text her, and I'd get no get no text back. When I got to work, I would see her face buried in her phone. I would be furious but the moment she looked up and smiled at me, the blue would take over and all that anger went away. I remember there were times that I would stalk her Facebook and wait until she liked a post, which meant she was awake. Then I'd message her on Facebook. When she didn't reply, I'd say, "She probably has notifications disabled." Then I'd text her. When greeted with silence, I'd rationalize for her. "She probably just woke up and still has her phone on silent."
Flag #3 She was still extremely close with her separated husbands' family. She'd talk to him since he was still paying all the bills, and his sisters, who originally snitched on him, were still good friends with Dee and urged her to go back with him. There was a time where I was dressed up, my hard earned over time money in my pocket, and a condom in my wallet just in case she decided to cut the three months short. I'd be waiting out side of her house to pick her up and she wasn't answering her phone. I figured she had a long day at work and fell asleep, too exhausted to send me a text. So I went home, jerked off some porn, and fell asleep. I wake up the next day with a text. "Hey I had a few drinks at my sister in laws house and couldn't drive so I slept there." Blue Pill me just lol'ed it away and asked when we'd meet up again.
So like I said, during the 3rd month, she ignored me more than usual. It go to the point where I had to wait for her to punch out at work just to say hi. Talk about not taking a hint....and If you guys still have doubts as to how blue I was (which I doubt that you do), there was a time where I invited her to the movies; I was taking my family to watch a Pixar movie. I invited her to join me, my ten year old brother, and my mom. Since I figured that she was the real deal (you know the whole making me wait for sex thing), I was sure she wouldn't have a problem watching some cheesy movie with my family. When I asked her, she immediately responded in a defensive tone, "What? A movie? Hmm, I don't know Azul...I think I can go, but only if you introduce me as your friend." As Blue pill as I was, this I couldn't stand for. I told her if she wasn't ready to meet my family, fine, but I wouldn't introduce her as a friend. I was as beta as beta could be, but I wasn't about to be put in the friend zone. It's funny, I was OK with her literally being repulsed by my dick, but her labeling me as a friend was where I drew the line. You gotta laugh, man.
So when we finally made it to our third month dating, if you can call it that, she went MIA. They changed her shift at work so I didn't get to see her and she wasn't active on Facebook. I knew she was alright because they always had the entire factory schedule as an excel file in the break room computer. I checked it, and she was still showing up to work. After days of trying to get in contact with her, she text me with something along the lines of, "Hey sorry. It's not working out." I text her back that I wasn't going to let her break up with me via text and that I was on my way to her house. On the way over, for the first time in three months, she blasted my phone and sent me texts like, "Azul don't come over please you're scaring me." I parked in front of her house and called her and calmly said, "I'm parked outside of your house. I just want to talk. If I wanted to hurt you, I wouldn't have called you." It was the only time I was truly a man around her. But when she opened the door, she really was terrified. The moment she saw it was good old, beta, nice guy, Azul, she eased up, smiled, and let me in.
Now, what do you think happened? Did my brief flash of Alpha behavior woo her and we had great sex? Did her husband find us and I had to fight him? Neither of those would've been as degrading as to what really happened. It pains me to type this, but the only thing I did not do was get on my knees and beg her to give me a chance to work it out. And yes, I thought about doing it. But I stood in her kitchen and calmly asked her if we could try to work things out. Her response? "I'm sorry Azul, you're a nice guy, but I just have too many things going on in my life to start a relationship." Defeated, I figured it wouldn't hurt to try and get laid. I half jokingly asked her if she wanted to have break up sex. She just smiled, led me out of her house and closed the door. I'd be lying if I said my eyes weren't watery.
Needless to say, I was hurt. But more so, I was furious. For some us the anger phase starts long before we even know that the Red Pill exists. After my encounter with Dee I had such seething hatred towards her and women in general, that it fueled my on going plans to move out of the city. It wasn't until a year after that I found The Red Pill. Right before I found the pill though, I traveled to my home city to visit an old friend. The day before I messaged her on FB letting her know I'd be visiting for a few days, hoping it would spark some kind of emotion in her. She replied almost immediately with, "So?" I didn't reply; I wanted to hurt her. But once I found the Red Pill and read all of the side bar, I really started to understand women for what they were and was no longer angry at them.
As for Dee, she went back with the Cuban. At the time, I was angry at her for taking back that cheating scumbag. But armed with with the perspective of time and distance, and the knowledge and wisdom of TRP, I no longer blame her for going back with him. The only thing I had over the Cuban was that I was in better shape (he was in his late 30's and had a beer belly), and slightly better looking. At everything else, he exceeded me. He was a contractor that had worked for a company that acquired many deals throughout the city, made close to six figures, dressed impeccably, and could take her out to eat at expensive restaurants and buy her a new car if she wanted it. Juxtaposed to that, who was I but a loser? I made $12/hr driving a forklift and my idea of a date was dinner at Fuddruckers in which I made heavy emphasis how awesome the free salad bar was. He was the better man. For that, after months of wallowing in cynicism, I do not blame her. She should not have led me on, that was cruel on her part, but the anger is passed me now.
And me? I am doing what the red pill teaches: work on myself. Physically, mentally, and financially. Thanks to TRP, I am able to control my libido and focus on what's important: me. Everything else is secondary.
