https://m.khaleejtimes.com/uae/fujairah/wife-in-uae-seeks-divorce-because-husband-loves-her-a-lot-doesnt-argue-with-her-1

Gentlemen, we often discuss things in TRP lingo. This is good because lingo is short form for concepts that are discussed elsewhere. However, an outsider might perceive this to be an echo chamber in which ideas aren't properly thought through.

It is in this spirit that I will unpack this story using lingo that therapists might use, instead of using TRP lingo. I will explain why people are outraged at her even though she might have a point. I will get into what her point might be and what it truly is. So here goes! If you wandered into this forum by mistake, this is for you!

Every person needs a combination of togetherness and separateness, closeness and personal space. What separates people in their preferences is the degrees of closeness vs personal space that they prefer.

A hermit who lives in the woods and has zero human contact for 20 years straight, is not a normal occurrence. Likewise, even the biggest social butterfly needs some down time away from everyone.

Based on this thinking, the woman has a point! She felt engulfed, smothered and overwhelmed by his loving closeness and just needed some distance, right? What's so bad about her? Why do we demonize her and women like her around here? Doesn't every human need a mixture of togetherness and separateness?

The answer is that yes, everyone needs a combination of these two extremes. Together and separate, close and distant, hot and cold. However:

  1. There's an objective definition of what a healthy mixture looks like and this isn't it.

  2. There's a subjective societal opinion of what a healthy mixture looks like and this isn't it either.

  3. Most importantly - she was a passive participant and did absolutely nothing to take responsibility for her own life!

Let's unpack these 3 reasons why she's a cunt.

Objectively speaking - if human beings need a healthy mixture of togetherness and separateness, we need to understand why we need both these polar opposite things.

The answer is: there are two competing needs that both need to be fulfilled. 1. The need to connect with others/the need to not be lonely 2. The need to be an individual with their own identity, who isn't swallowed up within others.

Therefore, a person needs to come close to others. This calms the inner loneliness. But then they need to pull away to reestablish their own individuality. With too much closeness you feel smothered and with too much distance you feel lonely.

Now which need is first and which is second? The answer is: the need for togetherness is primary and the need to reestablish your individuality acts as a counterbalance to that, so you don't lose your identity within the other person. Therefore, objectively speaking, a healthy balance is where the closeness is far greater than the separateness even though individuals will differ in their preferences of how much greater it should be.

This woman wasn't complaining about a lack of separateness. That could have easily been achieved with time apart each day, sleeping in separate beds or whatever. But no, that isn't what she wanted. She wanted conflict! and that's fucked up.

From a subjective societal standard - obviously she's a cunt because every girl (says she) dreams of a kind and caring husband like this.

Personal responsibility

But the biggest problem with this woman is that she placed and continues to place all the responsibility on her husband. If you need some more space, ask your husband for some space and work something out! Set times apart, start a hobby, whatever. You know, like healthy couples do. But no, if he won't fix your need for space CONFLICT you'd rather just throw him away altogether.

It's for these 3 reasons that this woman is a cunt who doesn't deserve a man's love. There you have it, explained without using TRP lingo.

Cheers!