Get me out of Tinder! (Opinion post in a Norwegian newspaper, translation in the comments)

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LongGone8 · 2019-06-02T06:31:44+00:00

Honestly: What is needed to meet a normal and upstanding guy at the end of his thirties?

[Image text]: I have dated a varied selection of men. From the nerd to the asshole, the dad to the bechelor. The outdoorsy guy, the teacher, the banker, the engineer, the farmer and the musician. I really am open. Then it hits me, writes the author.

Over the last 4 years I've been single. And, with the exception of when I deleted the app out of anger and frustration after a date, I've used tinder.

Really. Honestly. What is needed to met a normal and upstanding guy in his late thirties that wants to hang with me? To see what can happen, if there is any chemistry, and not just wanting to dive into my painties. Is it so damn much to ask?

Most males I have come across are only after one thing. I am in no way alone in this experience. Its something about the screeen which makes all inhibitions go away. People change. They become freer and tougher. Its probably applicable to all genders.

[Quote]: These apps really don't work.

Now I hear the rest of the guys, the exceptions, protesting! Maybe there is something about me and the girls I know, maybe we attract the wrong guys. But thats besides the point, for lets be honest: How many have end up getting laid as compared to in a relationship after a tinder date? I thought so.

I have dated a varied selection of men. From the nerd to the asshole, the dad to the bechelor. The outdoorsy guy, the teacher, the banker, the engineer, the farmer and the musician. I really am open! Open to getting to know the person behind the disguise. I try and I try, get blinded, and then it ends. Time and time again.

So, is it me? Could it be that I am steered by the exterior too much on Tinder? Does the depth of character disappear when the screen is flat? Do I expect too much of the guy? Do both of us have an unrealistic expectation of one another? Was I just thirsty for attention? There are many of these questions.

[Quote]: [Just repeated shit from above. Don't know why the paper does this.]

The point is that these apps don't work. THey really don't. Or rather, they do, if you're looking for sex. Then they work, no doubt about it. And good on those who seek sex. But what about us who genuinely want to know a person and the nuances in that? Should I just accept that I need Tinder to meet someone? I've leaned on that. Checking out from the couch works for me. But has any ["hygge", meaning a non-sexual good times. I suspect she means a relationship.] come out of that?. Well...

Lets call a spade a spade. Us up in the north [of Norway] aren't the best at seeking out people we don't know. Imagine if we had tried. What if that person is in a relationship? What if we are rejected. Imagine if he thinks I'm mad.

The few times I've attempted to approach a handsome guy and shown my interest, I've been drunk. Very drunk. I'v even managed to kiss a guy I knew for 10 minutes. Not my proudest moment. So how do I strike that balance between discarding people on Tinder and being piss drunk to show my interest in real life. There needs to be an inbetween, right?

[Quote]: It's more or less just a contact ad in my situation.

Then something unexpected happened. A snap slid into my phone on a regular Thursday evening. It was from a single friend currently out travling. She sendt me a picture of herself with the biggest smile and a shopping cart, the latter marked with "flørtekurv" [flirt basker]. The grocery store Føtex in Aarhus has apparely gambled on singles and love. Genius! I jumped out of my chair: It exists! A way to wear the green cap all year and show your status on the market.

My God! How many times haven't I been to that store, seen a handsom guy, and now known what I could do about it?

[Quote]: I want real interactions between real people to make a return.

The best is that in the store, personality is front and center. Choice of coffee and bread, ecological, meat or vegan, frugal or not. Your basket says a lot. [By this point I fail to realize what this has to do with her point.]

Imagine how many singles you've passed each time you've been to the store, unknowingly. Recently divorced, year-long bachelors, widows, forever-bachelors etc.

I do imagine what had happened if every single had a basket that said "flørtekurv". I, for one, would've smiled more. Maybe even approached a person, or vice versa. Maybe just to talk, or maybe asking for a coffee some day.

[Quote]: [Literally the sentence that opened the above paragraph.]

I want that to return. Interaction between real people. THe possibility to feel the stare of the other, feel the tension on the air, the body language, feelings etc, when a person is next to you. Something a screen can never show: Physical reactions. The body does not lie. There aer no filters, no screeen to hide behind. [Aside frpm a fortune's worth of makeup, I suppose]. Be yourself, be real. It's good enough!

This here is probably just a big ad for me. But it's also a wish for the Norwegian groceries to adopt the flirt basket. I, for one, am deleting tinder and embracing this genius idea. I am certain us singles will stick around the grocery stores a little more.

For if it isn't for the flirt basket, then I'll be swiping forever.

Please help us! And thatnks in advance.

Alright, I did the best I could. I wanted to retain the tone in her text rather than translate it directly, so I took some liberties with the wording. Just as a heads up.

Title	Get me out of Tinder! (Opinion post in a Norwegian newspaper, translation in the comments)
Author	LongGone8
Upvotes	1
Comments	2
Date	June 2, 2019 6:30 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/bvum22/get_me_out_of_tinder_opinion_post_in_a_norwegian/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/get-me-out-of-tinder-opinion-post-in-a-norwegian.345504 https://theredarchive.com/post/345504

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