My (26M) girlfriend (24F) found an engagement ring I was keeping safe for my friend until he was ready to propose. She thought it was for her and is furious that it wasn't.

20,086 points•4,587 comments•submitted by ringaccident to r/relationship_advice

I've been dating my girlfriend Laura for just over two years. We met as I was finishing my masters and she was in her last year of undergrad as we attended the same university. We have a pretty strong relationship overall, we get along well and have pretty similar views/goals in life, and I love her a great deal. She's definitely been the healthiest relationship I've ever had and I see a strong future with her.

This weekend has been awful, however. My best friend Rob came to me about a month ago and told me that he had a plan to propose to his long term girlfriend Grace of about seven years. The problem was that they live together and she's a very clean person, and he was afraid she might find the ring while cleaning before he was ready to propose. I offered to hide it for him at my house until he was ready, and he handed it over. I hid it in the back of my sock drawer and honestly kind of forgot about it until last Monday when he asked for it back. He (successfully!) proposed to Grace yesterday, and she posted a picture of the two of them on her instagram with the ring clearly visible.

Literally five minutes after she posted, Laura rang me absolutely fuming. She told me she'd found that ring three weeks ago, so why had I given it to Rob for Grace when I'd clearly chosen it especially for her? Was Grace mocking her with her post, just rubbing her nose into the fact that she'd "stolen" her ring? I tried to talk her down and explain that I'd just been keeping it safe for Rob and that I'd never intended to propose to her with it but that only made her more upset and she starting screaming at me that I'd absolutely built up her hopes and just destroyed them. She hung up on me, then texted me that I had three months to propose to her with "a better ring than Grace's" or she's going to break up with me.

Am I wrong for thinking this is a red flag? I know that she probably was really excited and I absolutely never meant to hurt her feelings with all of this, but the ring was never for her and she never should have known about it. We don't live together and I don't know what she was doing snooping in my drawers, or when she had the time to look in there, or what she was looking for her. More than that, I am 100% not ready for marriage. We've only been together for two years, haven't lived together, haven't even talked about marriage yet. I want to be living together for at least a year before we get engaged.

What do I do? I totally understand why she'd be upset but I just feel like she's invaded my privacy by looking through my stuff, and that I'm being treated badly for something that was never meant as a snub towards her. This is the first big fight we've had and I'm not sure if I'm just seeing red flags because I'm hurt, or if they're really there.

TL;DR: Girlfriend snooped and found a ring that I was keeping safe for a friend. She's angry that the ring wasn't for her, is demanding a proposal by Valentine's day or the relationship's off. Need help determining what my next move should be.