I want a tall, rich man to build me a rustic beach house

TheYekke · 2018-11-08T23:10:24+00:00

Decent looking woman. She's got more than a few extra pounds, though. If she's 5'7" (she looks shorter than that), she's about 40 lbs overweight.

Doesn't matter much though because a lot of men won't mind that at all.

Single/never married. She's a career girl who's worked and given it all to her career. Never had time for a man. Relationships broke up mostly because she was too busy or because she would have to move for work.

35 years old but wants children. Unrealistic. Reality hasn't hit her in the face just yet. How'd you like to be dating her seriously and tell her "don't want kids"? How'd you like to be her husband with a dr telling her her only shot at possibly getting pregnant is IVF to the tune of about $30k?

Worked and lived abroad for a few years. Code for "expensive tastes" and "cosmopolitan" and "you need to be extremely worldly and interesting to keep me". Also means she's had sex with a few exotic men who are more interesting, sexier, more fun, and better looking than you are.

Jokes about becoming a cat lady. That means she's well aware she's running out of time and she needs to get this marriage thing going.

This also means she will latch on to the first thing that looks halfway decent.

Wants to be "challenged". Translation:

You need to keep me on my toes. You need to game me to keep me here. You need to dominate me. If you don't I will go megaragecunt on you and walk all over you. You best bring your grade A asshole game because if you don't, i'll run roughshod over you so much you'll want to eat a gun. Plus, that's the only thing I'm attracted to is assholes and jerks.

Needs a man who is "rich... and old." Translation:

I want a sugar daddy whose dick doesn't work so I don't have to fuck him, but he will support me and buy me whatever I want. Oh, but I want kids, so I've got Chad Lifeguard Surfer Dude to knock me up....

Like some 45 to 50 year old guy is going to start a family with her. Not.

Blogginginvicecity · 2018-11-08T22:07:41+00:00

"Just fuck my shit up fam." Imagine bringing her to your beach house surrounded by a forest. Imagine the inevitable criticisms that would soon arise. It ain't right man. There's no justice fucking up the beautiful painting of an experience you would have presented her with.

The disconnect from reality for her is akin to psychosis. Whether this is really true, she is surely a beggar aiming for the stars.

PizzaNuggies · 2018-11-08T22:13:44+00:00

Definition of a choosy beggar. She would struggle to attract any man. Why would anyone waste money on this?

polakfury · 2018-11-08T23:00:39+00:00

Nice to see gals with realistic expectations.

a0009 · 2018-11-08T22:44:43+00:00

Build her a rustic kennel surrounded by a forest. It's still a rustic bitch house the way I see it..

omegajelly200 · 2018-11-09T01:39:35+00:00

3/10 looks, 1/10 personality. The negativity of the first sentence in her profile is makes for an automatic left-swipe to me.

JohnQPubliq · 2018-11-10T01:57:11+00:00

I'm 6'2 and very wealthy thanks to my former career as a professional male model. I also worked construction so i actually can buy beach front property and physically build said rustic beach house on that property. I am the top percentile man that this woman (and most women) wants and I have the capability to make her dream come true. .......But I wont. I dont like the beach and I hate most of the women you typically find on a beach. I would never do this bullshit for any woman let alone a disgusting, fat, middle aged whore.

In order for me to do this for a woman she would have to be a virgin, age 15 with her parents signing consent for her to marry at age 16 and a personal guarantee from her father that he will perform an honor killing and cut her head off with a sword if she ever dishonors me or cheats with another man. She would also have to be gorgeous and a fantastic cook. That girl, under those circumstanced MIGHT get a beach house.

Not you bitch. You get nothing. You deserve nothing. I go travelling and bang college thots several months a year because i gave up on romance and marriage a LONG time ago. When im too old for that im just going to be a monk. I give no fucks.

Gordon-G · 2018-11-08T23:55:21+00:00

She be fat with the looks of a hildabeast

NickTesla2018 · 2018-11-09T01:19:38+00:00

No kids, but she's ready for a bun in the oven. All yours, Uncle Fester.

ManateeGag · 2018-11-08T23:08:00+00:00

Breathing? She's sure is picky...

3josh18 · 2018-11-09T07:08:01+00:00

"I want a rustic beach house surrounded by forest." WTF, what kind of location is that? Sounds like some childhood wish that hasn't been thought out. "I want to live deep in the forest, but when you reach the house it turns out to be a beach house" lol good luck living in Louisiana or some shit with your "beach" being a fucking creek

Overkillengine · 2018-11-09T09:23:36+00:00

And I want a million dollars and a pony. Made of diamonds.

Where the hell are they?

SirKolbath · 2018-11-09T12:59:49+00:00

She works in project management. I know a chick like that who married a good friend of mine. Sadly, he's pretty blue pilled for her. She literally planned her pregnancy. As in "we are going away on this weekend and the baby will be born nine months later because that's when I can take time off from work."

Sounds like a super fun way to live.

IHateToChoseUsername · 2018-11-09T13:31:59+00:00

Don't we all.

TEMystic · 2018-11-09T21:21:05+00:00

Of all the red flags in her profile the biggest one is that she hasn't had a relationship longer than 3 years, at 35. How is that even possible?

She's terminally single.

hodltaco · 2018-11-22T04:40:47+00:00

I'm 56. Would never call her. What she doesn't get is that with her requirements it's more of a "seeking arrangements" situation and being 35 makes her REALLY old. I can get a 25 year old or younger on the same premise All, DAY, LONG.

Title	I want a tall, rich man to build me a rustic beach house
Author	DiamondJoeQuimby80
Upvotes	45
Comments	46
Date	November 8, 2018 9:38 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/9ve8cj/i_want_a_tall_rich_man_to_build_me_a_rustic_beach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/i-want-a-tall-rich-man-to-build-me-a-rustic-beach.347988 https://theredarchive.com/post/347988

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