Women that are single past the age of 35 are damaged goods. Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know... Some of you will say you know of (and see) smoking hot 35-40 year old women at work, the gym, in public etc... Don’t care! Plus, how much longer are you expecting that attractive 35 or 40 year old women to remain “hot” and attractive? Yup, not for too much longer. If you’re a single man that’s never been married, doesn’t have any kids, and wants to find a woman to settle down with and marry... A single woman over 35 is a poor choice. Women that are still single after the age of 35 are damaged goods for several reasons. They also fall into several different categories.

They’re hitting their biological wall... Let’s say you meet when she’s 37. You date for a couple years, get engaged, and then marry a year after the engagement. She’s 40 now. You’ve always wanted a family of your own. A wife and kids! You try to get her pregnant. You enthusiastically make love to her middle-aged body. However, her ovaries are releasing eggs at a trickle. You try your best to inseminate her dusty uterus, and this is all with the hopes that it’s possible for her to get pregnant and have a child without webbed toes that is birth-defect free. What if you manage to get lucky and have a child? What if you wanted more than one? Is she going to be able to have a second child when she’s close to her mid 40’s. Why risk it? Go for a single woman that’s under 35.

Single moms... DON’T DATE THEM! Their children will always come first (That’s a good thing!). Fuck that though! They aren’t your kids. You’re looking for that special woman to put first in your life. You need a woman that puts you first as well. Don’t be a dumbass.

The woman that finally decided she wants to “settle down”... Yep. This one’s a real catch. Except, the only thing your likely to catch from her is herpes. Get ready to cough up the monthly copay for Valtrex boys. She spent the first 20 years of her life riding everything that ends with a ‘C’. BBC, BWC, SAC, XLBBC, XXLBBC, and the occasional XXSAC. Sex with her will be like throwing a sausage link into a hallway. Except, that sausage link now has cold sores.

The woman that has always had “high standards”... Yep. She’s in her late 30’s now. She felt she deserved Mr. tall dark and handsome with a six-figure income, that would lavish her with all of the luxuries that life has to offer. Cupid, unfortunately, never shot her and stuck her with his arrow. Instead, the only thing she gets stuck with is that syringe filled with Botox that’s used to fill in the 11’s on her forehead. She is a 49er. She is a four that thought she was a 9. She still can’t understand why she couldn’t land that dream man. Avoid this woman at all costs... It’s hard enough to deal with an attractive woman that is stuck up and entitled. You definitely shouldn’t have to deal with it from Butterface McCunterson.

Too many of these women have a history of making bad decisions... For example... Why are they a single mother? Did she think her ex was going to make a good father because of his “sick tribal tats” and sexy arms? Did they cheat on their ex? Did they make impulsive choices regarding having children? Did she spend all her time chasing “bad boys”? I say... Who cares? Why should you have to live with consequences of their poor choices?

Crazy women... Many of them are still single because they have issues. They’re a special brand of crazy that no man was willing to put a ring on it. Yes, maybe she’s still smoking hot! You think, “Holy crap! I just found my soulmate!” She’s sexy, seductive, and wildly passionate. The sex is amazing! Then, a month later, you hear the diagnosis of “Borderline Personality Disorder” for the first time. This happens when she’s on the phone crying telling you she’s sorry for what she did the night before and telling you about this diagnosis you never knew she had. That’s because she just had a meltdown the night before because you wouldn’t hand her your phone with the password and let her look throw all of your texts, social media, and emails. She ends up responding in a fit of rage by trashing your pad and cutting her wrists with a kitchen knife. She leaves by screaming a proper “fuck you” and slamming the door. She then takes that same knife she cut her wrists with, and proceeds to flatten your tires. Ahhh... My soulmate <3

Yeah, yeah... There are women that will say they were focused on their careers and all that. They’ll say that’s why they never had time to settle down and marry. Nope. It’s just an excuse. They’ll fall into one of the categories above. If you’re a single man that’s never been married, and doesn’t have kids... There’s no reason to pursue a women over 35. They’re past their expiration date.