TL;DR: Self-validate

If you are new to RP, and if you are working on frame, this may have value.

One of the first influences on me was a guy in a t-shirt that said something like, set your agenda, keep it to yourself, do it, pat-your-own-damn-self on the back. Meaning, to me, be your own validation. It later gained the idea of, don't give others the opportunity to judge your internal efforts.

I started keeping a list of everything. Everything I knew I needed to get done or to work on. Everything that I had accomplished. Everything I wanted to do for fun, too. Brushing teeth, fix that door, go to an event...

It helped me get in the habit of literally patting myself on the back, and out-loud, telling myself I had done good, for any aspects that stood out. I kept at it. I "developed muscle memory" in my brain.

Today, I realized that instead of dread, or fear, I am actually looking-for higher goals, and anticipating the atta-boys that I'm going to give myself. I'm anticipating the outcome of things I haven't even started.

RP isn't about getting the girl. It's about increasing your self-worth and having that draw people to you. It takes work. But more, it takes patience, practice and extending yourself the grace and forgiveness, to keep trying, even when you don't get the external validation you want.

I'm in the process. Seeing and feeling results. Peace