Hey TRP,

I'm looking for some closure on the situation that brought me to the red pill. I'm putting the finishing touches on my first book, but can't edit a section from the girl that emotionally imprinted me.

The book focuses a lot on my life and a lot of the issues that teenagers have but no one talks about, as well as guiding principles to get their lives on track and educate parents into the perspective of our world nowadays.

Long story short, beginning of college I got into a relationship with this girl. We dated for a few weeks then got into a relationship almost immediately. This was around 2 months into starting college. She was my first girlfriend, a solid HB9. Most likely the second hottest girl at our whole school.

I lost frame about 3 months in, booked a flight to see her in LA. Things were weird over the break in the weeks that I didn't see her as she usually went out and partied and got pretty fucked up most nights. She got more distant until I saw her. Didn't kiss and barely touched, much less fucked for the first 4 days. She told me she wanted to take a break then later said she wanted to break up and stay friends. So I did, for the next 3 months. After that, we fucked every day at her place, sometimes 2-3 times a day until I left. And I simped hard.

Bought her a Tiffany's necklace, dropped like $300 on Valentine's day, taught her Calculus from scratch, was at her beckon call. It's not a pretty sight and it makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it. When we broke up, that night we went to a party at this kid's house who she had a massive crush on in the past and hooked up with. She claims she was a virgin when she met me, but had "hooked up" with 35 guys in the past but nothing past a blowjob and that was only for 2 dudes she had huge crushes on, (I'm dumb and believed her, but with how bad the sex was I wouldn't be surprised if she was a virgin).

For context, she's an LA party girl living it up in NYC with some of her friends from California. All in all, spent 6 months with her and she still makes me sick to my stomach when I think about her. Apparently she monkey branched and was already making out with some dude in our dorm lobby, but that's a story that comes from an unreliable source.

Here are my questions:

Why do I still have such a bad feeling whenever I think about it over a year later, and why does it still make me upset/emotional? (I'm an unemotional guy, but this does it for me.)

What steps can I take to get over this emotional imprint, move on with my life, and edit this last section of the book to give unbiased advice to people about how to handle relationships (that's not in a RP lens that is)?

And a more off the topic question: when things were going well, what do you think might have happened over the break to make her want to break up? I know she probably cheated but it'll be nice to hear it from someone other than my shadow.

If you need any more details, let me know. Thanks in advance. Hopefully, I can finally get rid of my imprint and move on with this area of my life.