Need tons of advice as I don't talk to people about problems, like ever in my life.

Work so far: I'm new to this when thing, I had listened to all for the MRP and just got TWOTSP. Early on I was extremely alpha and had a great frame but I became that drunken captain and she went and found someone else.

Background: together for 7 years. Legally married for 3 years. wedding in August this past year. The first 5 years have been great but also horrible with and cheating on both ends before marriage. But both chose to love unconditionality, forgive, and try to address our problems. Well we did a shit job, the was no accountability.

Story: She wanted to call off wedding in August. Found out today it was because she fucked another man. Dug deeper and found it it was a full on affair from August to January. Something too familiar has happened before marriage, I had a hunch for awhile but she is a great liar obviously and infall for the shit. she says it did not happen at all after the wedding in August, but 3 weeks after D-Day I found out it was still going on until a month ago. It does not make it okay but I was not being the husband I used to be, I was being lazy and needy, way too much beta shit, not cooking, not being the oak, distancing myself from her to prepare for the worse, reciprocating nothing back to her so she felt worthless. She says she still has some feelings for him and wants to know if it was real well I told her make a damn decision because 3 things can happen:

1 I build frame and leave and she plays house with him 2 I build my frame own shit and stay with her 3 I build my frame back up and leave her with no one.

She is very depressed and unhappy. She says she is scared to leave but wants me in her life somehow. I tell her that's not how it works any more that I will not tolerate and she needs to decide. Reminder I'm I'm the early stages of MRP. I'm also looking for more great reads. We both know a lot needs to change in our marriage if we ever reconcile. My brain says end it but clearly the heart is like you made vows so work on it, you both need help so find the help, counseling, etc.

KICKER: This past December I had the hunch it was over/ending because we are apart from each other and I made the mistake of sleeping with some one too, yeah sure it felt great but I still feel wrong for it. The only difference I see is she continued it for however long and I addressed it straight away and ended after the first night. I am at the point where I'm not sure things are going. So I'm starting to work on the frame, I'm worrying about myself and nothing else, my career and future. I have been messaging women just for the feel good moment, it's almost like I want the reward.

I just need some advice and thoughts and good reads on this lifestyle fix.