I am writing to you, all the guys who have been disadvantaged for all this time, being incapable of boasting about having at least a few spare husbands at home, just like PPD "wives" do (wink wink nudge nudge), with a heavy heart sinking (but not as much as marriage rates, fuck no, no way anything can dive THAT hard and fast), to inform you that due to gender quotas enacted in our husband production factory, we have experienced catastrophic "setbacks".

It seems all the veteran manual labor factory workers, who have been moved into the marketing department in hopes of reaching the equalitreeeeee quotas haven't managed to come up with any lies, resulting in basically us not even beginning to sell anything online. The whole department, having presented them online as male, failed to get even one fucking like on Facebook. Yeah.

The technical part of the setback, the one that absolutely ruined the production, so our husband stock warehouse is basically completely empty, seems to have however occurred due to a mechanical failure. A 0.2kg cog seems to have gone loose and happened to fall flat on the floor and all the chicks from the marketing department, who have been transferred to the production line, have waaaay too long nails to be capable of picking it up, willing of picking it up, having any resemblance of hierarchy set up to even know who is supposed to pick it up and seem to be physically uncapable of lifting it back into it's position. I'm intentionally not going to address the additional "furniture" in the production facility. It's not that it's complicated or hard or heavy, but it is what it is, quotas uber alles, I'm afraid.

That said, we have no other way to go about it but to shut whole factory down, which will result in number of available husbands produced by our factory to grind to a halt, leading to marriage rates to literally end.

We've already informed the central tovarishbiro who have decided to stop collecting data on marriage altogether and are drafting law tht will expect all civilian volunteers to enthusiastically claim that marriage is still at "all %".

Thank you for your attention.

p.s. This just in: Before you go to sleep today, you're demanded from to repeat "The marriage rate is still at all %." 69 times out loud.