Summary: Been in 2 years LTR with potential alpha widow. Found the redpill and brake up with her. I have learnt a lot. Don;t be me, learn from my mistakes.

Body: I ended 2-year-LTR a month ago. 6 months after finding TheRedPill. In this time span I matured and learned more about life then during my whole life (26). But let's start from the beginning.

June 2013, Poland, Blue Pill nalewacz is enjoying his life in major Poland city. He has just lost a lot of weight, got laid first time and got good job. Life feels good. I felt great, confident. But something is missing. Or at least I though that way. I met her – let's call her Jane. 22 years old cute girl. Nothing crazy happened at the beginning. Just two people hanging out. But with time I started to have strong feelings. Due to my inexpirience (never had a LTR before), my blue pill conditioning and well... overal thirst, I overlook many red flags:

  • Jane just broke up with her ex. She was still living with him when we stared dating (classical branch swing/emotional tampon story).
  • Brake up was his fault. He had a lot of “girlfriends”. I heard a lot of bad things about him (it is always guy fault !)
  • He was almost 30 years old. He was her 3rd boyfriend. Second one was also 30 when she was 19. (daddy issues ? Lack of strong father figure ?)
  • Jane proposed me unprotected sex when we were about to have it for the first time. God bless I was not stupid enough and I declined. (If she offers now, 99% she has done it before !)
  • Jane didn't have many girlfriends, rather more guyfriens. She said that she “not get along well with girls”.
  • When I later met her partents, her father was weak and simple men. I liked him because he was a good man but she and her mother has no respect for him. (yep, weak father, daddy issues).
  • Jane was very easy to go from calm to crying. Emotional rollercoaster. Then she was explaining that she is still hurt after last relationship. Later she tried to blame me that “I don' have emotions”. (I suspect now that she may be slightly BPD).
  • All the time we have been in relationship she had contact with both of her exes. Especially with the most recent one. We had three big quarrels about that. I found out because I checked her phone and facebook. After that she started to delete messages on phone. She knew that it hurts me, that I don't want her to have contact. I said that I will break with her if she will carry one. (zero respect and alpha widow)

Beggining of realtionship was really good. I had a lot of sex, like 2-3 times a day. She initiated a lot of it. We spent a lot of time together, at some point she was sleeping at my place to almost 2 weeks straight. I was so fucking high. But after 5 great months, it started to deteriorate. I was becoming more blue every day. I belived that she has almost always right, I stopped leading. Like Rollo has written – I hoped that she will love me for who I am, not for what i'm doing.

Things started went to shit. We started to fight more and more. In meantime Jane proposed that we can live together. I agreed and we moved together after 9 months of relationship (Guys dont do that. Don't give away your independence for free). It caused a big turmoil in my family. My father and grandfather are religious and they opposed strongly. My father was not taking with me for almost 8 months after that. She was not welcomed in my family house which caused even more problems. (Value your family more then a pussy) I was stupid enough to tell her about all my insecurities and tough events from my childhood.

In February 2015 I found the RedPill. I started reading it on reddit. I read the RationalMale blog (thank you Rollo !). I started lifting and … fighting for myself against her. I applied dread game. It heated up situation even more. Jane was fighting back (if you are in relationship, do it gradually. Be smart, be crafty). I started losing interest in her, but my blue heart was afraid of being alone. I didn't have nuts to just break up right away.

But I found the reason. My gut was telling that Jane still has contact with ex. I checked her Facebook and billings on the phone – bingo. I was right (trust your gut !). I asked her if she has contact. She hesitated, tried to lie, but at the end she admited that it is “sporadic”. Sporadic my ass, 1 hour conversation is not sporadic. Then explanations started: This is your fault ! You were mean to my for last months, and I needed advice, so I called him because I trust him. If you were better for me then I would not have a need to do this ! That was nothing wrong ! Just conversations. It is not a reason to brake up ! I calmly explained that I don;t give a shit about what she was talking about with him. I was pissed that she IS talking with him. I lost my trust for you girl.

Something amazing for me happened – she started to apologizing. It is a last time I did that she said. You can control all my phone calls, mails. Don't end 2 years relationship like this ! Countless amount of text messages that she suffers, that she love me. This all was mixed with: You planned that, don't you ? You have another girl for sure ! Depending on day.

For two weeks she was trying to change my mind. In meantime we had scheduled a trip together to the dance festival. I didn;t go. And then … 180 turn. She returned cold and distant. I thought WTF ! How it is possible to change like this ? Again my gut tell me that something happened. I checked her Facebook again (she didn;t change her password). She met a guy on trip. I don't know what exactly happened but she found him later on Facebook and she reached him out. And they started to talk a lot (he is from different city). After that, last week living together was tough. Jane rebuilded her courage. She was comforted mostly by single 35 years old girlfriend (guys look at your LTR girlfriends). Finally I move out at the end of August.

Two days ago I again checked her FB – she already invited this guy to go with her to her friend weeding. She is flirting with him. Moreover she is again a friend with her ex on facebook. Again I was shocked how quickly she got over with brake up.

I removed her totally from my life. I will try to spin plates. I'm not planning to commit to any girl in a longtime. I will try to kill beta in me.

Leasons learned:

  • Central/Eastern Europe is no different then USA – AWALT.
  • If you want to have LTR, screen girl strongly.
  • Look for red flags like: attached to ex, mood swings, unprotected sex 3
  • Meet her parents. Look how mother treats her father. If he is weak then she is probably not a LTR material
  • Emotional contact with ex is a huge red flag.
  • You are at the first place, then your family
  • Don't live together with your girl, until you really want to start the family
  • If you are sure that she is Alpha Widow or BPD – just run. It is not worth it.
  • Seek for strong, red pill guyfriends. Cultivate that friendship.
  • You are not alone. There are redpill redditors, there is Rollo, IllimitableMan. They may not know you, but they know what you are through.
  • Your feeling are just feelings. The will not kill you. If you feel bad, lift, speak, socialize.
  • Never reveal your weeknesses to the girl. It will be used against you.
  • When you brake with her, she is not apologizing only because she is sorry and she learned from her mistake. She is fighiting for her ego and her face.
  • If you are not her Chad, then you will be quickly forgotten. Like a broken part which can be replaced.
  • Trust your gut.
  • Guys don;t be me. Learn from my mistakes.

PS. I want to thank all of you guys, especially Rollo and IllimitableMan. I have learned a lot and even when we don;t know each other, you have helped me a lot.