Blue pilled since as early as I can remember. Seriously, I recall having a oneitis in grade school. Also obsessed with Disney movies as a child... Not good.

Toed the line my entire adult life. Went to college, went to grad school, been working crappy Corporate gigs ever since. Moderate success getting laid but never knew what I was doing.

In 2010 I met a 26 year old hottie on Match.com. I was 30 at the time. She gave it up on the second date and it was better than any p-sleeve I've ever had. Moved in with her after 3 months of dating.

First few years were good. Lots of sex, maintained frame naturally, and wasn't shit tested much. Next few years we became like roommates that withstood each other. The last few years have been hell on Earth.

In 2017 baby rabies set in hard. I acquiesced, and in 2018 we had a son together. From the time she became pregnant everything changed. Non stop shit tests and a serious loss of frame by me. Simp of the decade in fact.

Around the time our child turned 1, she was out sleeping with men and women as part of the fetish community. I found out and she said it was either splittesville or an open relationship. Under duress I agreed to an open relationship. Things just got worse from there.

She began going out to clubs 3-4 nights a week and sometimes not coming home. Also blatantly throwing her sexcapades in my face. One night I changed the locks to my condo while she was out as I couldn't withstand it any further.

She has my son, and is constantly making it difficult for me to see him. In two weeks I go to court for child support. My attorney is estimating 1k a month since she doesn't work. That's 30% of my take-home. I will either have to get a second job or move into my car.

Even with all this, I truly loved her and am completely heartbroken about the demise of our relationship and losing my son. With the untenable child support to boot, I'm thinking about going out ass backwards. Life doesn't seem livable.

I'm grateful for this community as it has shed the truth on my entire relationship. At 39 years old I also feel like it is too late for me. Any words of advice or truth bombs would be appreciated.