Grocery checkout. They ask "would you like to donate to..." Since i dont like the implicit coercion I use it as an excuse to say "hell no, i donated every dime to my ex-wife"

Checkout guy busts out laughing. Says "a buddy of mine just sent his last child support check. He had a tshirt made with the start date and the stop date"

Free at last, free at last, another man is free at last