(25F) first Pap smear with HPV + abnormal results. Should I be afraid?

86 points•41 comments•submitted by [deleted] to r/TwoXChromosomes

Hi ladies, I’m going to need some guidance on this. I’ve been in a 3 year relationship, am relatively healthy and stable with a career. My life prior to this was a damn mess. I slept around, had 0 stable figures in my life and not much of a plan. My parents never cared to bring me to a doctor for anything so I brought myself in to get a OBGYN check up.

They want me to come back since my results were abnormal with high risk HPV strains (didn’t specify which). I’m scared. I don’t like going to the doctors. I’ve had several yeast infections and bacterial infections in my college years but none since my life stabilized. I thought I was past this.

At the same time I’ve always thought of myself as someone who would die young. I have a chronic condition that I take daily medication for and is very dangerous to me if not controlled. When I think of passing away early I feel this kind of relief, like I won’t need to establish myself at work, get a mortgage, deal with heartache or fears.

I guess I’m just a ball of emotions and am looking for others to share their experiences. Thanks.