Summary

If you are not the leader, you are the follower.

Body

This is a general concept that applies to every social interaction, but this being TRP I'll focus on the man-woman dynamics. It applies just as well to plates, FWBs, LTRs and marriage. I'll write assuming some sort of stability and recurrence in your interaction with a woman, though you should think of this in other contexts.

Whenever you spend time with a woman, there will be a (most often) unspoken agreement as to who is the leader in the relationship. Being equal does not exist, it cannot exist. Personally I think it would be great if we could be equal, but we cannot. Either I'm picking the restaurant, or she is. Either I'm deciding what we're doing, or she is. Either I'm telling her what to do in bed, or she's running the show.

This can sometimes be hidden:

[You]: "Baby, what do you wanna do tonight?"

[Her]: "Whatever, it's fine by me."

[You]: "No, really, just let me know what you'd prefer and I'll pick something."

[Her, You] You try to convince her how you're only looking for ideas, she keeps telling you how it doesn't matter... until

[Her, slightly pissed]: "OK, it would be great to do (random girl activity) ... but we don't have to do it."

[You, thinking you're the Alpha dog]: "OK, I've decided... we'll do (random girl activity) "

Sounds familiar? This is a pretty common occurrence I've seen amongst newly unplugged guys, who think that they are now showing some balls, and being Super Alpha (TM). If you think you were the one who made the decision in this case, you'll never understand why she keeps bitching at you.

Leading, in general, is all about making decision, and if you're not making the decision, someone else is. In this case, she is. And that's when things start to go wrong, because she does not want to be the leader.

Lessons Learned

  • She does't want to be the leader.

  • Equality does not exist, someone has to have the final say. It's inevitable. It might as well be you.