So I did something that I’m really proud of today, and I don’t think I would have been able to do 6 months ago. I went through a bad breakup a few months back and I’ve been on dating apps.
So I was chatting with this guy who seemed really nice and interesting and was fun to talk to, so we planned to go stargazing tonight. I laid down some “I’m not about sex on the first date” ground rules and he was really cool about it.
Then he said he had been catfished several times and wanted to make sure I was who I am on my profile. I added him on Snapchat and thought that was fine and all. So I sent him just a little regular selfie after my run this a.m. and he was like “no I wanna see your whole body. Send me a pic of all of you.” And I asked why, and he went on a diatribe about how he’d been on several dates where girls were fatter than they were in their profile pictures, which he called deceptive and catfishing.
For context, I have had body issues for as long as I can remember, but have been working on myself for the last 6 months or so and am happier with my body than I have been in a while(down 37 pounds!). I think this is the first time I’ve been happy with my appearance.
So I sent him a mirror pic of myself (cause I knew if I didn’t he would think I was just another “catfisher”) and waited for him to respond. He did the whole heart eyes thing and a lot of compliments and said he’d had a lot of “crazy bitches” deceive him in the past. Then I told him, “I think making someone prove they are skinny/pretty enough to be around you is a shitty and toxic way to treat a person. I’m sorry you’ve been catfished, but I think having to prove my worth via physical appearance alone is a pretty big red flag. Thanks anyway!” And canceled the date tonight. He wasn’t very happy about it, but I am.
I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I’ve had several relationships where someone has made me feel shitty about how I look, and I think I’m finally learning to value myself as a person. I didn’t know who else to tell, but it made me happy when I thought about it. Thanks for reading.
Edit: Apparently I should have mentioned this, but I have three full body pics (all from the last two months) in my profile. And when he asked if they were recent I told him which ones were from the last few months and the one that is older.
Edit 2: I’ve never gotten an award before!! Anonymous you are lovely and I appreciate you. The nice comments/tips here have really made me feel better. You guys are so great. 🥰
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