Need to talk to Men and i only have this group

DangZagnut · 2019-02-02T09:19:28+00:00

My sympathies to you and your family.

Advice? Nothing. It takes time. There's no magic trick to get over loss.

To avoid brain ruts, try to do new things as much as possible. Movies, tv shows, walk in the park, trip somewhere you haven't been, anything to encourage different neural connections.

Red_Pill_Wolf · 2019-02-02T10:08:41+00:00

Just remember all the Wisdom he passed on to you, and stay away from "numbing the pain" with Alcohol or Drugs because that shit will just make things worse in the long run. I can't remember the last time I hugged my Dad and he is still alive and taught me virtually nothing except how to be a drug addict...

DWShimoda · 2019-02-02T10:53:16+00:00

First, be thankful for the fact that you KNEW your father, that you had him for 30 years...

Some of us get lucky and get even more than that... many get less, some guys never get to spend any time with their fathers, or even know them at all.

Grieving the loss -- even tears -- dude it's not only OK, it's a GOOD thing: a sign of the love that you had for him, and that he had for you... and these days especially that is a truly PRECIOUS thing.

As for "how to deal"... well my own father passed away just a few years ago, and I can tell you that I still think of him nearly every day (often several times a day), and I miss him dearly... but at the same time I am so very grateful for all that he taught me, all that I got to experience with him, and just the pleasure of having known him, and knowing that he shaped my character, who and what I am (for better or worse) is very much a result of him and his influence, his guidance (as well as the base genetics).

There's a line from an old "Rom Com" movie (Sleepless In Seattle) where the widower man is discussing how he's dealing with the loss of his wife; but I think it applies equally to the loss of ANY close family member:

Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out... and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while.

That's really how you do it. You just DO what you HAVE to do; you wipe the tears when they come; you let yourself smile, and even chuckle & laugh when the memories are good or funny... and you go on living; in part because you know that is what your father would have wanted you to do.

Liquid_Leopard · 2019-02-02T11:08:44+00:00

Sorry for your loss man, it's going to sting a long time for sure, but don't regret the chance to hug him one last time, he knew you loved him and is in a better place now with the knowledge of that fact.

The best way to move forward is to always grow, always improve yourself, find hobbies and friends that are a good social network to rely upon, this will be key. As said before, drugs, alcohol and the like are not the way through this.

danyzo · 2019-02-02T13:50:32+00:00

Thank you all for the support, i will focus on the process and live the grief. thank you again

slowgrumble · 2019-02-02T13:51:56+00:00

This too shall pass. Be strong.

bluffinpete · 2019-02-02T13:06:13+00:00

I’m sorry that your dad passed, he will be with you always in the amazing things that he taught you and the time you shared with him. Give yourself time. It is the best gift you can give to yourself and to your dad’s memory.

TheGreatEvil · 2019-02-02T13:48:44+00:00

Focus on stuff you like. Fill your time. It's not about forgetting him. It's about surviving the grief process. Stay strong

Menvimacal · 2019-02-03T00:11:35+00:00

It's OK to cry, stay away from alcohol/weed/drugs, and just remembered everything he has tried to teach you, in time you will heal.

Title	Need to talk to Men and i only have this group
Author	danyzo
Upvotes	16
Comments	9
Date	February 2, 2019 2:18 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/am9osy/need_to_talk_to_men_and_i_only_have_this_group/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/need-to-talk-to-men-and-i-only-have-this-group.399807 https://theredarchive.com/post/399807

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