If one feels happy with themselves because of the things they own, do, or are loved by, then this is external validation. It is finite.

Internal validation, then, is the key, because it is unlimited. But how is it obtained? How do you become TRULY self-sufficient as far validation is concerned? How do you, in essence, "not give a fuck?"

In the last 7 years of my self-improvement journey, I did absolutely everything I could do to get rid of my fears: reading through thousands of hours worth of books/articles, watching videos, I listened to endless hypnosis recordings, did DIY cognitive behavioral therapy techniques, I worked on my physical appearance, worked on my outer game, used psychomotor therapy...I used absolutely everything in my tool box. And my result?

I realized I was looking for an answer that does not exist

...At least not outside of us.

I was a reading a book called "Radical Acceptance" while I was with a few buddies of mine at a restaurant one day, and then I realized I was just tired. I was tired of reading, tired of trying to change myself, tired of having my heart broken over and over, tired of being afraid of others telling me what to do or feel, tired of being afraid to speak my mind, tired of being controlled and manipulated. I was just tired. In that single moment, I knew what I was just about to do was going to be the best thing I could've done for myself YEARS ago, and I'd slapped myself on the head over and over wondering why I hadn't done it sooner. I closed my halfway-finished book with relief, and that's when it hit me:

I'd given up.

I surrendered to myself. I gave up on trying to change myself, and gave up on trying to make someone love me by changing myself. Suppressing your emotions isn't the answer (you should still guard your heart, but that's a different topic), what I'm really referring to is ACCEPTANCE. And just so you hear it again, the answer to all your problems is this:

Simply be.

Accept yourself as you are. We all have the capacity to feel every emotion, so accept the emotion or desire in that very moment.

Just like when a child cries, or when they fall and scrape their knee, they get right back up and keep going. If you feel jealousy, accept that emotion COMPLETELY. Do not fight it. Do not resist it. Do not hide it, or suppress it. Completely and utterly ACCEPT it, and surrender to yourself.

Simply be.

When you do this, self-love is born, and a beautiful thing happens:

You don't feel jealous anymore.

The same philosophy can be used on every negative emotion, not just jealousy. This works in a miraculous way because unconditional love is not about "doing something" like making a meal for yourself, or giving yourself a bath. It is a state of complete acceptance.

My closing thought is this:

I was watching my 7 year old nephew play with some of his toys. I wondered to myself, why was it that I only loved myself with conditions, but I cared for my little nephew with complete unconditional love? I looked at him...he was completely carefree, but he came up to me, gave me a hug, and said he was going to the bathroom. He didn't ask for a hug, and he didn't ask to go to the bathroom...he just did it. He just is.

My RP friends, if you have a desire, emotion, or urge, do not deny yourself. Unshackle the chains, and go with the flow. When you have your own fountain of validation, you will naturally exude Confidence, and you will become a Red Pill man because you do what you want (within reason, of course). This does not mean give up on self improvement; the magic here is that your future self-growth is coming from a place of security, and not fear.

So. How do you feel now?