Hi all,

Just "should have known better" dropped the ball on a new FB after a spell away from the game. Thought I'd make this post as take away debrief for myself, and a reminder to others.

Personal circumstances meant I took about the last 1/3 of last year off from women - which I actually rather enjoyed. However, now that I have more idea of my situation for the near future, knew I would have to get back into the game this year. Year got off to a good start, and thought I was going to add at least two FBs right away. However, I fumbled the "easy" one after good groundwork, hence the post.

Basically, a 5 (!), but nice and young, and she proved to be cool to hang out with, and the sex was also surprisingly good. I laid the groundwork very well, thought she was keen and viewed me as a prize, and thought it was safe to "go with the flow". Mistake!

Trying to avoid too much detail, had been hard to schedule time to see her last week, but loosely planned for Sunday. However, she ended up offering to come round on Fri daytime in the end as well. Seemed good enough, but little did I realise she would be coming not-so-fresh, and high direct from a party. Yeah, party girl. However where I live this is practically unavoidable par-for-the-course in her age range... Ends up staying through most of Saturday, which was far too long, but at the time had been fun to hang out. Mistake! Apply what's correct in theory over what feels most fun at the time!

This then meant we still had the previous plan for Sunday. She had been meant to come to mine, but like an idiot I ended up compromising and coming to her because that seemed "more reasonable" at the time. Mistake! This was also bad bad bad because her place isn't so private, and meant we couldn't really have sex. Mistake! Thought "well fine, can just hang out this time". Mistake!

Needless to say she went though an all-too-predictable whirlwind after that and killed it. Now having to jump through hoops to save face since we had some mutual acquaintances. Groan.

In any case, to summarise my errors as a reminder to myself and others:

  1. Bear in mind the "type" of relationship and behave accordingly. In this case, fuck buddy, so keep plans focused around sex happening. This girl was fun to hang out with, so I overdid the general hanging out. This also gave the illusion of comfort which led to other screw ups
  2. Don't compromise on plans! Ever! Over anything! Jump through the biggest hoops to make the original plan happen, or just find a way to cancel. Or keep plans so loose you don't have this problem
  3. Comfort is very dangerous. This is especially hard for me because I'm very fond of relaxing at home. It's a great illusion to think you can "hang out" with girls at home, but my experience is this always goes bad
  4. Always follow the "rule book" religiously, rather than making adjustments for how the situation at hand "seems"

So anyway, that was a minor vent, but hope it's useful to others as well. Happy to give clarification. Still have another hotter girl on the go, so just need to leverage this mistake to make sure I don't forget how to handle her...!

EDIT: So, my response to her trying to break it off at the start of the week was radio silence aka soft next aka not accepting her resignation. Continued ignoring her until Friday/yesterday, when she apologises, asks to come over, and BOOM it's back on. Needless to say this is great for leveraging the situation to be more sustainable now. SOFT NEXT. What a beautiful tool.