[TRANSLATED]

I'm looking for something strictly platonic-I'm looking to have as many men to be emotional tampons for me. I will send you one message every 4 days, between 3:08 and 3:21 pm, and you will like it. That's when I'm waiting for the bus, or have nothing else better to do. This is where you fit.

When everyone paired off with their significant other and I’m literally the only single person here. Anyone feel like keeping me company? = sob story but appeal from OP for the exclusive once in a lifetime chance to be an emotional tampon/ stop-gap for her loneliness/ boredom. She will use your time to get validation and she will offer e-pussy

I enjoy travelling, photography, music, movies, talking about politics, history.... Ok I have no fucken translation for this bullshit. LITERALLY names the 7 most universal topics of mankind.

Looking for people to talk to while I'm at work :)/ Please distract a girl from her boring desk job? = I need some guys to be time hoes for me. I'll give you my fragmented attention at work, and in exchange you will get to talk to a girl! Win for you my man!

Need someone to vent/rant to = Need a male emotional tampon, when I'm down emptying my contents over your shoulder, that's the last you will hear from me. Sounds good on paper IF guys EVER replied to dudes who made a post like this. Girl will swiftly ignore your PM's on reddit or leave you on faded s, r,d on KIK.

I’m shit at communication= I'm communicating with another dude at the moment, that dude will get your treatment soon once I begin ignoring him and talking to yet another dude for all but 15 minutes.

I should be asleep but I'm in bed and a tad lonely. Just needing someone to chat with= be my insomnia tampon, and I won't reply to you during daylight hours, only selfishly for 15 minutes when I can't get to sleep. But be grateful! I gave you my coveted e-pussy!

Don't send me one word replies = I can send you 1 word replies for as long as I like, but don't ever think that I will take that from you. Because there's more where you came from.

Lately I've needed someone to talk to my availability isn't always great, but I will always come back to read and reply to what you send= I want someone to talk to when at my command, but be warned I will go away on leave on your replies, and will be sure to get back to you.

I'm close to going to bed but I wouldn't mind chatting about whatever, kinda just want to distract myself from thinking of other stuff = I've had idiot men satisfy my time at whim, and now I have one more time slot available for a dude before I sleep.