Approaching strangers is the social equivalent to extreme sports. Facing social risk is an incredibly potent way to generate what psychologists call flow states.

According to flow researcher and bestselling author Steven Kotler, a flow state is defined as a peak experience in which you feel your best and perform your best. In this state, all self-consciousness vanishes and you are so engaged with what you are doing that your sense of time’s passing becomes distorted. A few factors are necessary to trigger a flow state:

  1. You must be engaged in a goal directed activity.

  2. The activity must be an appropriate difficulty for you, if the activity is too challenging it can provoke anxiety, if it is too easy, it can provoke boredom.

  3. You must overcome an initial challenge to catalyze a flow state (your first approach on a given day can serve this function).

Most men who follow dating advice do not enjoy going out because they do not find the proper balance of skill and challenge.

Navigating this balance will help you to enter flow when meeting women, going out will become its own reward regardless of any external results. I have found approaching women to be more exciting than anything else in my life.