Hi all,

I got a fair few comments saying that I wasn’t going into enough detail on the original post, and that’s fair enough, but for me the perspective was that most guys on here are already going to be somewhat competent in dealing with girls and have at least SOME game but…I can see the point regardless.

So here is a revised version for you all with a bigger emphasis on tying it to my other pieces and a few more “openers”.

As always, what’s written below is my opinion (backed up with experience, outside sources and conversations with other lads) and its existence & potential contradiction of things that you personally have had success with shouldn’t read as me suggesting you stop or that you’re wrong- you do you.

So…

  1. Cultivate a social vibe about yourself. This is important because if you approach a woman in the street and your aura/demeanour is one that you are simply there because she’s there then you will really struggle to get her to warm to you and it’s literally “putting her on the spot” and leaving her with no choice but to instantly reject or go along with you in that very moment. !!!Some Jack-ass took this to mean me saying “be hyper” – clearly not!!!
  2. Think of a reason to be out so that you can nail number 1 properly!
  3. Re number 1: OUTSIDE/STREET/PARK – for this scenario you can do this by having open body language, taking a very slow amble through the city centre, stopping regularly to admire this or that shop-front or statue, parking yourself on a bench in a thoroughfare, sipping a drink, taking notes in a notepad, chit-chatting with other people and basically acting like you’re there because you want to be there and not because you’ve come out to sling game.
  4. Re number 1: INSIDE/CAFÉ/PUB – For position; You can plonk yourself at the bar, at a prominent table in the centre of the room (why not drag the other chairs out to make it look all the more inviting for others to join you?), or if it’s a nice day you might like to sit outside and give yourself the perfect opportunity to extend a cheeky drinks offer to a lovely young lady (works for bench too, go get a smoothie together, fuck it – get me one too). For behaviour; nonchalantly reading a book (without burying your head in it), taking slow, sweeping glances around the room and making subtle contact with people (little nods, soft greetings etc) and again adopting open body language. Honestly, just make it an easy transition for people to be either alone and then talking to you, or with a few friends and then talking to you.
  5. Before you work on your game you should get everything else you need to get done that day done. If you don’t, and you’re not experienced, you will be giving yourself excuses about why you shouldn’t do this or that approach or why it’s not a good idea with her right now. Plus, if you’ve dropped something important to come out instead, you’re probably going to be visibly tense, even if you don’t realise it. Wrap your stuff up first guys.
  6. So we’re outside, good, what’s the plan? If you nail the approach and she’s all about you then where are you heading and what will you talk about? I am not advocating a meticulous game-plan here, just a basic notion about how you will stage the interaction…because you want her to come home with you right?....
  7. …And when she gets there will your roommates be sat playing Xbox on the couch and gawping at the woman you’ve just walked in with? Will the place be a pigsty? Have you forgotten the basics like making your bed that morning? Now I’m assuming you’re not going to tumble through the door in a passionate frenzy and so she’s not going to be focussed only on you….let’s not give her a reason to change her mind about staying for a while. Live alone? Tidy up. Live with others? Tell them to expect company.
  8. You’re going to get nicely washed and dressed up (ironed and clean clothes) aren’t you? Good. I’ve written much about this on here and every other post I’ve seen concerns it so I’ll not re-invent the wheel here.
  9. APPROACH – my God man, approach. Quality over quantity but don’t not do it. Remember this is nothing new, nothing that scary, nothing that out of the ordinary and nothing that most girls who go out during the day will be unfamiliar with. The onus is on us men to do the approaching after all.
  10. Lastly guys if you need a tiny bit of warm-up before you hit the street or set up indoors, and this is a really cheap comment for me to make, try popping into a shop and getting a bit of a conversation going with the female staff – just to metaphorically dip your toe in the water.
  11. The point of all the above points is to gain something you might think of as “social momentum” because if a conversation with a women is a ‘sprint’ then it helps if you’re already jogging before you have to up the pace.
  12. For an opener you might try grabbing a girls attention from where you are standing/sat with some nice eye contact. I recommend looking at her from a slight angle and with your head tilted down, this is very non-threatening and flirty. If she returns eye contact for say, 2 seconds plus, then….
  13. …Let a slow, not-too-eager smile spread across your mouth and turn to face her more fully. You should give her a subtle signal to come over to you – some dickhead will tell you to point to the seat next to you so you’re “alpha” but if she’s with her mates or not a self-esteem drained whore then you’ll likely turn her off completely. I’d recommend either a slight upward tilt of your head or a subtle hand gesture to invite her to join you.
  14. Conversation in this manner should be heavily context-based and fairly easy but I will give a few examples for completeness – “So what are you up to today?” / “Where are you headed?” / “I’ve not seen you before, are you a local?” / “Been doing some shopping I see, for you or is there a birthday coming up?”
  15. Now to ramp it up – tie whatever she says into an invitation to join you. For example, “Yeah I’m just here to grab a drink.” = “Cool me too, come and join me when you’ve grabbed one.” – “Yeah I’ve lived here all my life, do you know the area well?” = “Very, but I’m not so great with the city centre. Why don’t we go for a little walk and you can show me around?” – “Yeah I’ve been shopping all day, I love it but man it’s been a long one.” = “I’ll bet! Come and grab a seat next to me and take the weight off.”
  16. For the “mobile opener” for when you’re not stationary or sat in a pub then you might cheekily say to her “You know it’s dangerous to walk and text at the same time?” (because she likely will be) with a wry smile and a mock aura of bossiness. Think that’s lame? Well if she bites she may well say about what or why she’s texting and that’s ramping you both up to quick rapport and you’ve got myriad conversation threads to pursue.
  17. If she’s got a drink you could ask her where she got it, if she got a bag you could ask her where that particular shop is or you could ask her where to buy quality avocados – and be sure to DM me if she gives a good answer. This is intentionally banal because if you’re vibe is right and the girl is receptive to you then the opener is nothing more than a nuisance ice-breaker and it’s not worth getting worked up about.

I don’t recommend this post as a sole guide for git gudding and so for more depth in conversation, status and confidence exercises please read my other stuff – click USERNAME > SUBMITTED

This is a beginner guide and I’m slanting it from the angle of someone that lives in a city, which I think is fair enough for TRP.