kind of long

Yesterday I hit my last weight lifting goal of a 405 squat and guys, I couldn’t be happier. So many hours of lifting, so many protein packed healthy meals, all the ups and downs mentally that comes with it, it changed my life. I incorporated a heavy weight lifting regiment 14 months ago shortly after my last break up(4.5 years). I’m a big guy, 6’2 and built like a football lineman and I’m 25. I was fat when I started at around 275-280 lbs, all flab and just soft. I hated myself and let’s be honest, that’s probably why she left. I had zero self esteem and she felt she could do better. I get it. Every single day I tried to get better and if I’m being honest, it was for her. I wanted her back because I felt this giant empty hole in my heart when she left, like I lost a part of me. Like I wasn’t good enough for her. I really thought this shit. Looking back, it wasn’t a hole left from her, it was a hole that should have been filled up by myself Over those years. I never worked on myself, I lived my entire life for others, and when the rug got pulled out from underneath me I didn’t know wtf to do. I realized THAT was the emptiness I felt, not because she left, I was empty inside because I neglected myself. That’s when I decided to say fuck it, fuck looking for validation, fuck trying to better myself for this girl I “missed”, fuck doing anything except for myself and my parents. That’s when I was introduced to weight lifting. When I started off I was pretty weak, 185 bench press, 225 squat and maybe a 250 deadlift. I honestly think I could have done more but I had no technique and my form was all wrong. It hurt when I would look over and some 165 lb guy was benching more than I could deadlift and I decided this is what I want to do, see how strong my big body could get if I took proper care of it. My mom is a librarian so I went to the library and got every book about weights and health that I could. Micros, macros, proper form for lifting, what to eat to gain muscle, what to eat for healthy joints, proper rest, etc. I became obsessed. First thing I fixed was my form and it really was a game changer. I noticed my joints stopped hurting from the lifts, my knees stopped hurting from squats, my back, all that. It made it so much more enjoyable and healthy. As a big guy, the strength came on fast. I focus on strength for the majority of my lifts, low reps high weight. Fast forward 14 months to today and my numbers are 315 bench press, 405 squat (finally!!) and a 455 dead lift. I fucking love the dead lift. My body weight is still 253 lbs but it looks soooo different than it used to, it’s like it filled out and filled my skin up. You can even see my top two abs even at my high body weight. But I really don’t give a shit about that, what I care about is what it did to me mentally. I no longer feel depressed, rarely ever get anxiety unless something super important is coming up, and most of all I don’t miss that girl AT ALL. Actually, the entire reason I posted this here is because last night she called me for the first time since our break up. I never reached out to her the whole time we were broken up and I can tell it really got to her. She said her sister saw me in our local wal mart and said I had lost a lot of weight and look great! That made me feel so good, even though I was over her at this point I still wanted her to know I’ve bettered myself without her in my life. After about 5 minutes she starts saying how she thinks she made a mistake, how life hasn’t been the same, you guys know where this is going. She wants me back. You guys were right, I honestly thought she wouldn’t come back, but she did. If this was 15 months before this moment, I would have been jumping for joy and rejoicing the gods for giving her back to me. But this sub and my new found self confidence told me I was better than this, better than being her second or third choice. I didn’t tell her off, I didn’t call her a bitch and ha ha I knew you’d be back, none of that. I simply said I’m better and happier being single, and I don’t want to change that, life is good for me now. She understood and we said our goodbyes. Now I’m sitting in my bed thinking about how far I’ve come mentally and how much better life is when you focus on yourself. Gentlemen, I couldn’t have dine it without you guys. We may get hate, get called incels, losers, but I think we all can agree life is better this way. Our life is our life and we only want to maximize our enjoyment for ourselves, that’s all it is. We know what we’re worth and we’re not taking anything less than that. I fucking love it, and I love you guys. Thank you for everything. And remember, always GYOW. Better yourself, love yourself, and enjoy your life. If you feel depressed and filled with anxiety day to day, it’s because youre neglecting yourself in some way. You’re worrying about shit that doesn’t matter. Girls, social status, being super rich to impress others, slaving away for people who don’t care about you, all detrimental to your mental health. You don’t give yourself enough attention or love, you look for it from other people. A strong body with give you a strong mind and soul. Most guys don’t even know what they like doing because of all the years of doing shit for other people. Find your hobbies, find what makes you happy and just do that. Every single day, do that. Over time you’ll realize it was the ticket all along. Life is simple, but social constructs make it hard because we feel the need to impress, to be better than everyone else. It’s all bullshit. Once you let go of that, which is the core of mgtow in my opinion, life will immediately improve and you’ll actually be able to enjoy this crazy ride we have the privilege of having. Thank you guys. Stay strong, we are the winners, don’t you ever forget that. Keep it simple and love yourself. It’s that easy 💪🏻