Childfree + breakup discussions led to my wife getting arrested

I posted here a few days ago about the issues I had with my wife and her comments regarding my having counselling because I don't like playing with children. Well, things went from bad to worse in the last 48 hours.

It all started on Sat afternoon at around 6pm. The girl next door has a rather loud laugh which drives my wife mad. She was with a friend in her flat and laughing. I was in my room resting on my bed, and the next thing I knew my wife is out the door and goes to their flat banging on their door and kicking it. They didn't open the door so she scrawled a note and put it under their door which said stuff like, "you're too loud and I can't take it while I'm working etc etc." They came round and were very diplomatic. The upshot of the conversation was that the guy said we were living in flats, it wasn't late, noise could be expected and you can't expect someone to change the way they laugh. They would just be generally conscious of noise levels from hereon. I agreed. When they left my wife said, "well, thanks for supporting me" in sarcasm, but I said what they said wasn't unreasonable. My wife has this issue with sound - if we go to a pub or restaurant and there are people laughing, she gets so angry. It happens so often. Anyway, this clearly started the evening in a bad way.

After this we started talking about our marriage. She said she had decided not to freeze her eggs since it wasn't childfree but that in the future if she got pregnant in spite of her IUD and a condom she would want to keep it since it would be "God's decision" [I have heard of a couple getting pregnant in spite of a vasectomy and tubes being tied]. She was drinking a lot and kept going to replenish her glass with more vodka and coke, sometimes going to get more vodka [I think] because it was "too sweet". I wasn't drinking anything.

It got to about 10.45pm and she was quite drunk. I said I wanted to go to my room to lie down for a few mins because I wasn't feeling well. At about 11pm we resumed our discussion and she was clearly quite intoxicated - I said I didn't want to talk anymore, we should wait till tomorrow till we both had a clear head but she wanted answers about our future there and then. She kept insisting and got more and more riled up, eventually shouting at me, calling me a "coward" for... well, I can't remember what, maybe not wanting to be a father in case of an accident or accepting to go to counselling myself... till she became hysterical. She would cry, laugh, act all superior, it was frightening. I said she was scaring me.

I went to my room and then she stormed in saying she wanted me out the flat. It was about 11.30pm. I said I had nowhere to go [earlier I had said if we needed a break I could go to my dad or mum's and she took this as a threat of running away from problems], it was too late in the day at this point. She said she would call the police to get me thrown out, so I said, please do. She called them and I heard this, from what I can remember,

"Hi, I want my husband out the flat"

"<--they said something-->"

"No, but I'm worried that I might".

She was in the next room all the time. They might have asked to speak to me because she came in with the phone and I talked to them. When I started speaking to them I broke down and cried since I felt for the first time that evening I was being supported. I cried a lot and started shaking. The police said they would be there in the hour.

Before they turned up she said some weird stuff. Stuff like, "you like dark and extreme things don't you, well this is extreme", "if you want abuse you will leave this flat as an abused person" and "I will get a criminal record for you". Like I say, by this time in the evening I hadn't touched any alcohol so my memory is quite good [I went to a friend's later and had one beer at about 3am].

The police arrived 25 mins later, which for a Sat night is impressive. They must have been concerned because of the phone call. They spoke to us separately. One policeman asked me if there had been any physical abuse and I said that sometimes I was hit, kicked and bitten [as said in the other thread]. They didn't mind the former, but the biting they didn't like. They made a phone call to the sergeant and then said they would have to arrest her. I couldn't believe it, said I didn't want it, and even said so in my statement. They took her away and then spoke to me in the flat where I gave my statement.

I feel that the police acted fairly. They made a decision based on what was said in the phone call, my state of mind on the phone, my distraught state when they met me, her intoxication and their discussions with us both. They did it to protect me [and like one of them said, "if we get another call from your flat tonight, one of you is coming away with us."] My wife spent the night in a cell and was let out yesterday. She did not apologise and said I lied to the police [I don't know about what]. She has not taken any responsibility for what happened. She also was INCREDIBLY nice to the police when they were at the flat and put on a great act. I said to them that she wasn't like that before they came and that she had a Jekyll & Hyde personality [she does pride herself on being a Gemini]. She put on a great show of being reasonable and charming, which I'm sure she did at the police station too. They didn't see the monster I had to deal with before they came.

So now I am now a few miles away taking a break for a bit as recommended by the police. They said to me to take a couple of nights away to let things calm down. I am thinking about my future, where to live and what to do. But something definite has to change. My brother had asked me not to go back and live with her because he's scared of what she can do, and I feel the same. Her actions on Sat night were frightening. I am going to take some time to think about the best thing for me going forward. Anyone else's thoughts are welcome.