Update to GF’s (F18) gay friend coming in town and sharing bed.

679 points•149 comments•submitted by HuggableAfrican to r/relationship_advice

ORIGINAL POST HERE: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/aegs1o/girlfriends_f18_gay_friend_is_coming_into_town/?st=JQRB64M8&sh=563f412f

Thank you to everyone that left a comment, it made dealing with the situation so much easier. I sat her down and let her know I wasn’t comfortable with her sharing a bed with someone she had past physical history with, regardless of his sexuality. We went through a hypothetical if the tables were turned and she agreed that she would be pissed if I did this to her. She apologized and said that if it made me uncomfortable, she would give him the couch and limit the alcohol to when I could be there. She also took accountability and said she didn’t think the whole situation through before she told me. All in all, we worked it out and are stronger in our trust for each other than we were before. She said she wished I would’ve said something sooner, but all in all loves me too much to let a sleeping arrangement I wasn’t comfortable with ruin what we’ve built. She called and let him know he wouldn’t be sharing the bed anymore and all is well. Thank you guys again, so much.

MUCH NEEDED ADDITION:

People are still commenting that she’s cheating on me and that I saw the signs blah blah blah. As hard as it is to convince the nay sayers over the phone, the issue is truly resolved. They shared a bed for 3 years prior as best friends because there was no sexual attraction and the only lapse in judgement was a year ago before we met on New Years while borderline blackout drunk. They also didn’t speak for 3 weeks afterwards because it was so awkward. I got to sit down with the guy and talk to him as well and he assured me that my wishes would be respected while I was at work and he had no intention whatsoever of coming in between our relationship. As far as he knew, they were just sharing a bed like old times. While he should’ve know she was in a relationship, the sexual nature of it never crossed his mind. Again, thank you all for helping me clear the air, she’s never given me a reason to think otherwise until this was brought up and it was swiftly resolved. Much love reddit.