Was at a party with a buddy the other night. There was this raving chick who seemed hell bent on ruining everyones night and this gay kid who was pretty much her pet, constantly saying "yaaas" and clapping along as she went through her conniption.

I knew the hords of knights remaining silent would have happily choked me to death if she asked, so instead I yelled once very forcefully at the gay kid to shut the fuck up and that encouraging this behavior isn't doing anyone any favors. Have a gay brother for the record, so not a homophobe.

Of course she goes batshit on me for dare talking to one of her minions. I argue back for a bit but after some dude tells me to calm down I know its time to go.

The next morning I wake up to a text from the gay kid, have no fucking clue how he got my number, apologizing for his friend and himself. I told him it was fine and i was good and to loose my number.

I end up seeing the kid again at the gas station and he apologized again and tells me he had a falling out with the chick from the party after a fight.

I told him I didn't care and went to pay for my gas. Wouldn't you know it, he already paid for it somehow. Now not being one to pass up free money, I went up to him and told him very clearly that I'm not going to fuck him but if he wanted to keep doing stuff for me he could do my laundry, pick it up in front of my apt, take it to the laundry mat, fold it and bring it back, once a week...He actually agreed. Its absurd.

Don't know how long I'll keep this going, but my bros cool so figured maybe I'd be able to train the bitch out of this guy and at least leave the world with one less pet for the impending matriarchy. Unless you guys think the apology is one giant manipulation? Either way, keeping my distance but the thought of the chick finding out that her former minion is now mine makes me purr a little.