Sorry about the long ass text,please read. I'm a guy,recently moved to study at Europe,everything is going fine,made a new life and all that around here. But something haunts me from where I used to live. This girl from my past,the first time I saw her I instantly felt infatuated by her,she said she was too...I'm hopelessly in love with her. We used to be a "thing" like for 5 years,until the distance ruined everything,while we were "together" we broke up like 2 times,the second one was permanent. The first time she "could not take the distance" so she dumped me...I mean she didn't even dump me,since we were never official,she just posted a pic with her new guy on Facebook and I was in another country missing her and wanting to be with her while she did that shit to me,yeah, I found out by Facebook. I confronted her (this was our first "split" like 3 years ago) and all she said was she was sorry,that she loved me but that those things happened and that she could not endure the distance.

I was deeply depressed that first time,we didn't talk for about 6 months after that happened,I went on a few dates with girls when I visited back where I was from,but nothing official cause I was so hurt,she never left my mind. After those six months,stupid me, decided to contact her to see how she was doing,she replied by asking if she could call me. I felt nervous cause we had not talked in months,but at the same time I felt full of joy cause I got to hear her voice again after so many months. In that call she told me she was having problems with her current boyfriend,and that she would like to see me, I've always respected everyone so I said no,because she was with somebody,that I could listen to her and comfort her but that we couldn't meet up cause it was wrong(mostly I said this because I was so in love with her I knew I was going to try to kiss her or something) so she was confused but then agreed with me that the best would be not to meet up,but we kept in contact ever since that night. A couple of days after that she told me that she and her boyfriend broke up and that she was devastated,although she never told me WHY(A month later I found out her ex bf had another girl,guess karma bit her in the ass). But I didn't even want to know why they broke up,I was just filled with hope that she would be mine again.

In a matter of a day or two she was telling me once again how much she loved and missed me,since I was so in love I bursted my heart to her too,saying how she is my whole life...the love of my life( yeah,I know only 2 days after her break up and she was telling me she loved me again,didn't think about it at that time). So, we started "dating" again she was everything I thought about. This was in 2010. That same year in the fall I had to leave again cause I studied in another country,cause of my scholarship,but she promised me she'll never make the same "mistake" again and that she'll wait for me. I was blind so I believed her. We talked everyday,everything went "perfect". Around christmas time we where exchanging messages and she told me she was going to a party so I clueless said "have fun" didn't know anything about her until the next day,but it didn't bother me cause she said she was going to a party. The next day I was the one who had to message her cause she was disappeared,she replied very coldly(not like she used to) and it was within hours when she confessed she had kissed a guy at this party and that she felt horrible and she was very sorry. My chest felt cold and I felt once again like an idiot(keep in mind I only had eyes for this girl). So I asked her if she liked him,she admitted it...so I felt even more stupid. But she said she doesn't wanna be with him,that she wants to be with me. It took me a couple of days to believe her,but since she insisted in my forgiveness...I gave in. New years passed and we kept being "together",and so came 2011.

In january of 2011 I noticed she changed,she would again be cold towards me and disappear for days but since Im a fucking idiot I kept on to her. She eventually stopped talking to me until my birthday came,she called, I was depressed cause I knew something was wrong but I ignored it and was happy she called,she was later putting up excuses on how she felt "our time to be together is not now" although I didn't feel that way. So once again I logged into Facebook and I see a picture of her and this guy (the one she kissed) together on a date. This time I felt mad at myself and just cut all contact with her(I hated her in that moment). A couple WEEKS passed of not knowing anything from her,I went back home and went out one night with some friends...and I saw her with this new guy (I haven't seen her since last year 2010) I chocked...I literally wanted to cross the street,go up to her and demand explanations but she seemed so happy with this fucking guy I just stared and left her alone,she didn't even saw me. That same midnight I got home drunk as fuck I messaged her that I saw her with her new guy,SHE DEMANDED TO KNOW WHY I DIDNT GO UP TO HER! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WOMAN?! She said that we could have cleared things up but that it was too late. I was so pissed off that I didn't even reply,cause that was the most retarded shit anyone has ever said to me.

We talked a few after that but really small talks...and we eventually stopped talking,period. Its been like 2 years she's been with this guy and a year and a half Im with my new girl over in Europe. For some reason I still have her on Facebook and every time she posts something with that guy my stomach crumbles even tho its been fucking 2 years since she fucked me over FOR THE SECOND TIME. I think about her almost everyday,even tho I have a fantastic girl by my side. We don't talk,she sometimes "likes" some of my FB status and I "like" some of hers...I don't know if that even means anything. I really want to feel hate towards her,but I just feel Im hopelessly in love with this girl,even after all she did to me,I never once insulted or said mean things to her or about her...until now I guess.

I don't know what to do,I don't know whats this I feel. I really wanna forget her but I fucking can't! I need REAL advice,the most honest as possible. Please. Im fucking retarded.