AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend for gaining weight when we agreed to get healthier.

5,795 points•917 comments•submitted by --throwaway to r/AmItheAsshole

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My ex-girlfriend was overweight and I was an average, but not fit, guy. On one date we both said that we should become healthier. So we set goals to exercise more and to improve our diets. We don’t live nearby so we wouldn’t go to the same gyms.

I started going to the gym almost every day. I really wanted to become healthier, but also wanted to encourage her to lose weight. She told me her super athletic friend was training her and helping her diet.

Within 4 months I’d improved physically a lot more than anyone had even expected. She’d gained more weight. I didn’t find her physically attractive anymore.

I asked her friend what they did at the gym. Her friend told me that they didn’t go to the gym together. She had apparently never trained my girlfriend. When we went on dates it would be our “cheat days” so we’d be eating unhealthy foods. Apparently she was still eating badly almost every day.

I met with my girlfriend, broke up with her for lying to me and getting unhealthier.

A lot of people are telling me that I’m an asshole for breaking up with her, because I should never have tried to make her lose weight. Plus, by lying to me I got healthier.

Adding info

I don’t want this post to turn into a fat-hating thing.

I am happy that I’ve gotten healthier and I guess by thinking we were both doing it I did improve and I’m continuing to go to the gym.

This was a relatively short term relationship. 10 months total.

The reason for this situation irritating me the most was that she lied and didn’t put any effort into it, but told me she was. If she’d told me from day 1: “I don’t want to do this” then it wouldn’t be an issue. The fact that she was telling me she had her friend training her made me think she was dedicated to it.

I am not a perfect “looks-don’t-matter” guy. Losing physical attraction to her did matter.

There were other issues for breaking up, but I considered this to be a serious one.

She told me the reason for not being straight up was because she liked that I was getting healthier and more attractive to her.