So a few years back there was his girl I was hanging out with, someone who had a strong presence in the social groups I was part of at the time. We started hanging out one day when my friend's gf and her called me up one day asking if I wanted to go hiking. She was single; it seemed obvious to me that they were trying to find her a date. I was on NoFap, which combined with the shitty night shift job I had was causing serious stress and mental issues, but I was still somewhat bluepilled and open to the idea of dating.

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I slowly became more and more skeptical of this girl and of women in general during the time that we would hang out (we never got sexual, you probably see where this is going). Not terribly attractive, maybe a 6, but she was a liberal feminist in college at the time. It was in talking to her that I realized literally anything or its opposite can be construed as sexism by feminists, because every time I would bring something up from a feminist perspective (I was one at the time), her response would be to say that the EXACT OPPOSITE was actually the correct position toward whatever I was talking about. I thought I was being a good person and had the right beliefs, what was I missing?

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This all came to a head at her birthday party that I was invited to. Up til this point there was a cloud of misinformation and delusion surrounding my judgement concerning women. I feel like this cloud was dispelled after going to this girl's party. Until then I thought she was polite and somewhat innocent, but holy shit, at this party she was totally fucking trashed and flirting with / touching the 4 or 5 guys she had in her "considering dating" pool, including me.

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Maybe about a month later I guess some realization in my hind brain started bubbling up into my consciousness, and I exploded. I texted her, saying all kinds of embarrassing and retarded shit. I told her I wanted to kill her and her entire family. I told her I was going to cut her open and eat her. I went on and on saying the most cringe-worthy and psychopathic shit. Eventually she filed for a restraining order after asking me to stop several times, and I had to get mental health counseling for a year. I didn't give a shit. I felt like I had realized that every single goddamn thing I thought I knew about women was completely wrong, and someone had to suffer for it.

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I lost pretty much all of my friends. I had to go way out of my way to see some bullshit therapist (I didn't have a car so it was a HUGE pain in the ass). Why? Partly because I was horny and frustrated, partly because I didn't know anything about women's taste in men (one of the things that brought me clarity was her saying at some point, about some guy she was with "I feel like I'm only attracted to assholes"). Fyi I'm pretty good looking but somewhat autistic so I always got attention from women, just always sucked at converting it into sex. This wasn't the first girl I tried talking to.

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Don't do what I did. Getting mad and doing retarded shit because of women is one of the best ways to get seriously fucked over. Since then I've had a few other encounters with women that ended with me getting fucked over. I've basically accepted that I can't have anything to do with them.