Follow me, my son. For as you now see me, so shall one day you will be.
So, you want to have a child of your own... but as a MGTOW you have to solve the problem with associating with a woman without falling victim to the many pitfalls of the gynocentric world.
I see this question often enough, and although this post is for those that might stumble by it, so too it shall be used as a copy/paste for future aspiring fathers who ask in as time presses upon existence.
Please keep in mind, my advice is a rough calculation. A mixture of assumptions of what I am certain is true, applied to the daunting task of being a MGTOW.... and a Father.
But by no means is my advice absolute. Do your own research. And be prepared for the entire ordeal to cost nearly 100k if not more.
1 Hire a lawyer.
Your lawyer will be your lifeline and contact between you, and your selected surrogate. No matter the abuse of power the "family courts" enjoy I wager even their overreach will fall far short of violating attorney-client privilege. There are more reasons I will articulate in the next couple of steps.
2 Through the law firm, hire a surrogate from a place where surrogacy is LEGAL!
You can't do this half-way. You will either need to move to a state, or country where surrogacy is legal.
3 Be absolutely thorough in the selection of your surrogate.
You are literally paying for someone else's (female/mother) genetics. You should already have all the screening questions ready, genome/chromosome tests ready, and specifications to quality ready at least a year before you even hire a lawyer.
Is your surrogate genetically healthy? Family history of abnormalities? Cancer? Down syndrome? Mental retardation? Heart disease? Diabetes? Mental illness? Clef palate? Baldness in the family? Obesity?
Recent photographs? Without makeup? Photographs of extended family?
4 Once the surrogate is selected, be absolutely meticulous to the contract drawn up, and agreed upon.
A quick overview would detail the following, and a great deal more....
- The surroage will only get financial compensation AFTER the child is born, all legal rights are surrendered, and a genetic match to the father (you) is confirmed.
- All medical reimbursements will be held in Escrow, to pay all medical bills in full AFTER the child is born, all legal rights are surrendered, and a genetic match to the father (you) is confirmed.
So, why the lawyer and the contracts? What pitfalls can a surrogate enact that requires such precaution?
1 Attorney-client privilege is the only protection you really can enact.
Most MGTOW already know that a prenuptial agreement is a worthless document. Ask any family lawyer before a marriage and they will gleefully tell you how "iron clad" prenups are. Of course they will... they are after your money.
HOWEVER, that same lawyer will scoff and tell a divorcing woman how prenups are essentially "worthless pieces of paper" and will fight like mad to get it tossed out... for money.
But ANY and EVERY lawyer will fight like a rabid dog to ensure attorney-client privilege is not treated with the same contempt. After all- if it becomes widely known that the courts and the system can trample and override attorney-client privilege... the profession of law would likely die a very quick and nasty death for certain.
2 Anonymity and a clear, concise contract will protect you in all cases.
There have been documented cases where a surrogate "changed her mind" and kept the child.... and forced the surrogate father to pay child support.
Or worse! The child that is carried to term, may not actually be your child. But by the time you find out... the surrogate ran off with your money!
That is why the contract must stipulate that compensation is dispersed AFTER a genetic match to you is confirmed.
If the child is not yours, why should you pay for another man's child? If the woman will not uphold her end of the bargain, she will not be compensated for her medical bills, or carrying a child to term. Period.
Since your identity is completely unknown to her, how is she going to come after you for the compensation, OR child support?
Obviously my advice is not even scratching the surface. You will need to have long discussions with your lawyer, and research the legalities of surrogacy in a state / country where it is legal to do so.
For instance, you want to see if the surrogate can "track" the child down via medical records that would be generated at the hospital of delivery.
To combat this, one must see what can be done to deny access to your child's medical records to the surrogate since she will (as per contract) relinquish all legal and parental rights to the child.
That- and many more things that must be foreseen and addressed.
Being a single father would be a challenge far above and beyond being a MGTOW.
So, no matter how you go about it... even if you do it without this advice, you have my best wishes.
