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https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/bs2hnh/in_love_depressed_and_not_sexually_attracted_to/

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In love, depressed, and not sexually attracted to my boyfriend.

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Hi everyone, I need some help. I have had major depression for half of my life. 2 years ago I met a guy who I love so much. He helped me through a really tough time and we were happy for a while. We moved in together a few months back and things were still good. But then my depression hit. Its been so bad for months.

I still love my boyfriend but for some reason I dont want to be with him.

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I keep trying to break up with him and we are actually on a break right now. I made him do it because I am afraid that i just dont want to be with him anymore. We still live together and are even still sleeping in the same bed.He doesnt want the break. He loves me and wants to try to fix things.

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During our break ive slept with 2 other people and i know this hurt him.

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But I didnt really want to sleep with them, it just kind of happened. And i didnt want to because they didnt look anything like my boyfriend. Im really confused because Im still horny and want to have sex, but I dont want to sleep with or even make out with the guy I love. While on the break Ive tried to convince him to go sleep with someone else so I can know if I will feel jealous or hurt or anything. But he refuses to do it. He doesnt want to. I dont really know what im feeling anymore and if I want to be with him or not. I know I love him but why dont I want to be with him. Why am I still horny but not attracted to him. is it my depression or is it something else?

Please help