PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
This post is provided as a free public service announcement for this subreddit, engaged in furnishing news and information to the general public, in particular, men who have to deal with entitled women.
This will happen to every man:
He: Hey, we should go out sometime.
She: Let's just be friends.
He: Eh, Ok. I'm good.
A week or so goes by, you haven't responded to a text or two. You receive a text saying:
She: How come I haven't heard from you? I thought we were friends.
Or, it goes like this:
He: Hey, let's go out sometime.
She: Let's just be friends.
He: (no response) or "Meh."
She: What? You don't want to be friends? You're just an asshole who wants to get into my pants! Fuck you!
Here is what is really going on. "Let's Just Be Friends", or LJBF for short, is a nice way of telling you
I am not attracted to you. I don't want to sleep with you. I will probably never want to sleep with you. I am telling you LJBF because I want you to go away and leave me alone. But I can't actually say that because that would make me look like a bitch, and I don't want to say that because there are some hot guys over there and I don't want to look like a bitch in front of them. I really don't give a shit what you think about all this.
I also don't want to make a bad name for the sisterhood, because if word gets around I was a bitch, i'll lose status in their eyes, because we can't have one woman making us all look bad.
I don't want to be your friend. The only reason I'm saying LJBF is because i'll look like a bitch if I say what's really on my mind, which is "I am not attracted to you, I don't want to fuck you, I will never ever fuck you in a million years. So let me say this and please please please get the hint so we can both save face here."
I just want you to go away and leave me alone. I don't care if you die in a fire. I don't care anything about you. But if you keep pestering me I WILL want you to die in a fire.
But sometimes this makes women feel bad, for one reason or another. And that's when you get the "I thought we were friends" or the "you just wanted to get into my pants!" spiel. And what is going on there is this:
You didn't play along with the script. You were supposed to say "ok, let's be friends" and then actually orbit me and do friend-like things with and for me. Or, you were supposed to just kind of go away. And you're supposed to do this because you're supposed to help me not feel bad about turning you down. The entire point of saying LJBF was to help me not feel bad.
When you rejected my fake offer of friendship explicitly and using words, you broke the social rules of engagement. You showed me that you understand I don't really want to be friends and that I am being fake and insincere. In doing so, you neutralized the sexual power and status I am supposed to have over you.
You reminded me that you, like most men, see me only as a sex partner and wet hole for you to masturbate into. You reminded me that my value as a sex partner is the only real value I have to most men. And since I am not attracted to you, in my mind, you are not allowed to see me as a sex partner, because ewww gross.
And you are judging me. You are an unattractive man and you are not allowed to judge me negatively in any way.
When you didn't respond the way I wanted, you made me feel bad, and that means YOU are bad. It means I have to do and say things to make you look or feel bad, because that will help me feel better, or at least, not feel as bad.
There. Now you know what "LJBF" means. Now you also know what women are saying when they say "thought we were friends" or "you just wanted to get into my pants!"
there doesn't seem to be anything here