I apologise if this post offends anyone. It involves two touchy topics so I might come across poorly here by accident.
I have been dating my GF for almost two years. She is trans. She hasn’t had surgery and isn’t on hormones or anything, but lives as a woman and passes very well.
Our sex life has been both a blessing and a curse in our relationship. I say blessing because for me, the sex is amazing and the best I’ve ever had. It’s a curse in the sense that she feels unsatisfied at times. As a heterosexual guy I’m really uncomfortable with being a bottom (not judging those that are into that, it’s just me) and my girlfriend obviously thinks I’m a hypocrite since I top her frequently.
I give her oral all the time and have no problem with that. I just find anal too much for me and I’ve been upfront about that since day one. I’ll admit that I am kind of a hypocrite in that regard.
Anyway, she has consistently pushed me to try it over our relationship and I’ve always said no, but kept the possibility of trying in the future open.
To the problem at hand: my GF and I went to a party on Friday and got absolutely shit faced. I want to stress here that we both got really drunk, so she also was not in the best state of mind.
When we got home we naturally went to the bedroom to have passionate drunk sex. I was really really drunk at this point though - at the level of feeling like I’m on a roller coaster whenever I close my eyes. At one point she began pressuring me into trying being a bottom and I guess I was too drunk to put up much resistance. Maybe I went along with it to begin with, I don’t have the best recollection of events. Anyway she ended up topping me. (TMI: her tool is quite small so not that painful the next day).
The next day I guess she realised she was in the wrong and apologised. But honestly I feel really violated. Even though we were both drunk, I feel she still should have known that was a boundary that should only be crossed when we are sober. I didn’t really accept her apology and she’s mad now. She says I’m over reacting since she has to put up with me topping her frequently.
What am I supposed to do here? Am I justified or am I hypocritical? Is this something I should forgive and move on from? Other than this the relationship has been great. Not really sure if I’m being a cry baby or not. Really confusing feelings right now.
there doesn't seem to be anything here