At least the comments are nice. The story? Not so much.

I’m really upset with my wife after what she’s done, but everyone of our friends/family thinks she is right to do what she did. So I’m posting here to get an unbiased perspective.

I’ve been married to my current wife for three years. We dated for 2 years before getting married. Before meeting my current wife I had been married to my “high school sweetheart” for well over a decade.

My late wife passed away very young from breast cancer. It was an extremely traumatic experience for me, and I didn’t start dating again for several years after the fact. I never had any real relationships before her (parents were both physically abusive, siblings absent) so it was especially hard on me.

I’ve always had a momento from my previous marriage. It was a greenstone/pounamu toki pendant. She gave it to me for our first wedding anniversary. Before meeting my current wife I would wear it almost 24/7, going through several strings.

When I met my current wife she wasn’t comfortable with me wearing it since it was from my late wife. So I started wearing it less often but made it clear to her it’s an extremely important item to me. For a time she accepted that until recently.

Over the past few months whenever we had a minor disagreement, she’d bring up my pendant and then turn it into a shouting match demanding I get rid of it. I can understand why she might feel uncomfortable with me having it, but I had stopped wearing it at this point, it stays in my draw 24/7... Why can’t she accept it’s very important to me?

Long story short, when I was at work last week she grabbed the pendant and threw it in a nearby river. When I found out I broke down because it was literally the last thing I had to remember my late wife.

I don’t know. Maybe I am not respecting her feelings and holding on to the past. AITA?

Edit: when I say ex-wife I mean late wife. We never divorced.