My 5 stages of dating

Courtship: I am content and single. I match with a girl online. Go on a date or two. I think she's attractive and nice enough, however I don't think about her that much which makes me quite aloof. I don't go out of my way to text her or even arrange a next date. Ironically this is where I'm at my most attractive - charming in person, distant and mysterious the rest of the time.

Love bombing: This is where the girl finds my distance attractive enough to desire me and act as lovely and romantic as possible to acquire me. I'm the object of her desire and she wants me for herself. I have the upper hand and she finds that attractive - but I'm not truly hers until she has the upper hand. She'll be romantic, text me asking how my day was, arrange to meet her friends, suggest sophisticated dates. She'll also act sexually submissive, make me into a hero, and use every feminine weapon in her arsenal to break down all my barriers.

Devaluation: She gains the upper hand. I mistakenly believe that all her romantic behaviour towards me is from a position of companionship, trust, empathy, belonging. I start to relax and trust her and think this may have a future. Other girls don't interest me as they are different from her. I return her romantic actions. I'm sweet, give her compliments, start to suggest dates myself. I miss her when she's not around. This behaviour gives her the upper hand for the first time and causes her to, at least internally, devalue me. I'm now not the man with the upper hand, and not the best mate she can acquire. The relationship is now in terminal decline, although I don't know it. This lack of awareness means I continue to act this way which accelerates the process.

Discard: The devaluation is now expressed externally for the first time, which makes it doubly shocking to me. However nice she can be about it, she is disgusted by me and every second she spends with me is a waste of time. Any attempt by me to fix the situation just makes her even more repulsed by me. Any imitation of loyalty or trust is destroyed and she never wants to see me again.

Pain: I only want her back, other girls are not the same as her. I'm confused as to why she acted the way she did and then changed. I analyse every action I made and if I could have done better. I doubt if she was attracted to me and wonder if I'll ever find a woman who will care for me like that again. My trust in women is damaged. I know she's not coming back and all I can do is wait for the pain to go away.