Guys, I have the chance to start over and could really use some veteran guidance

Chapter40 · 2018-09-29T18:06:32+00:00

I am a year older but maybe not exactly in the same situation.

I got divorced for the second time.

I put everything but the bare essentials in storage and moved far away (15 hours from essentially every connection I had)

I took time to review every friendship I had on the merits of whether they were healthy or not. Was the individual making an effort to be a friend or was the friendship more a one way street. I realized that I really had no one friend wise because the so-called friends never were there for me in my darkest times like I was for them. So now beyond the cats and dogs, I don't have many friends , maybe 2 at the moment.

One thing of concern I have a daughter and having to counter act, provide an alternative viewpoint for her to see amongst the challenge of today. I keep trying to make her understand that before even considering yourself a woman, realize you are a human being and that there are principles of equality and fairness that apply to all. The golden rule :) . When I catch her in behavior resembling her mom, I call her out on it and she is realizing that doesn't work like she thinks it might with her step dad. but this is the hard thing to reconcile ... how do you raise a daughter and be mgtow?

I reviewed my financial situation. I had sacrificed a lot and worked really hard but at the end I am just getting out of a lot of bad choices. I am taking full accountability on these but they were heavily influenced by the marriages I was in and therefore divorce was best.

I noticed the moment I broke off everything that by myself , financially, I am a different person. I kept on feeling like an ATM machine being married. On the spectrum of minimal to luxurious , I live efficient , like hacker efficient. On pretty much minimum wage I could get by meaning that I should be able to sustain myself no matter what. I make six figures but I am living like I was a dorm student sans the ramen noodles. Like effectively camping inside a 1 bedroom apartment. I had thoughts of van life , nomad ness, but having a full job and also needing a solid place for my daughter when she visits is important. When she does visit ( I visit her out of state) I will get her a legit bed to sleep on if the cot doesn't suffice but I think the lack of stuff allows for us to build insane lego stuff etc. and play soccer indoors. She's 9.

examples:

Bed = 3 inch memory foam matress pad on the floor. Camping cot if I want something raised but I had it flip on me when I rolled over which sucked.

Chair = just 15 dollar walmart outdoor chair you'd use for camping tail gating.

tv = old tv I have had for 6 years . Also use it as a big monitor for my computer.

1 set of food untensils ( 1 fork, knife , spoon)

and for food plates I just use on set of washable tupper ware.

Don't use the AC at all , and try to warm up and keep heater use at a minimal too . Same thing with lights even though my apt. has led's.

Cell phone - xfinity pay by the gig. so cell phone bill is zero if your data usage is 200 mb a month or less.

I own nothing that I couldn't put in my car and leave if I ever need to. I don't want to be anchored by my stuff.

I am now able to essentially live on like 20% of my income and save the rest. I thought I'd gradually get to that but it was almost night and day... but I understand why. I no longer need to medicate my sadness by paying for things that I think will either fill the void I was having in my marriage or reduce the toxicity of my ex by trying to make her happy to reduce her toxicity. I don't have stuff for the sake of having stuff but I am able to truly by things that I am passionate about ( music gear, photography)

The modern woman is a black hole. Universal laws do not apply. Marriage is the event horizon or point of no return. They constantly consume matter, energy , whatever...no end in sight. I hope that I can show my daughter this is not how it was and should be. To be a decent human being first .

I can actually see how I can retire in a few years (~4 years by my rough estimation) by living this efficient sustainable life style while investing in passive income streams. It is quite liberating to be able to retire by 45 or thereabouts.

For companionship I have my dog and 2 cats.

For excitement, etc. I have the outdoors, my hobbies (music photography) and I have a fleshlight and porn for the other excitement.

I still buy things for my passions etc. but now I really get to focus on them full heartedly and so doing so, I never feel like it is a dollar spent frivolously. Before I'd have bought things that were part of my passions but then I'd hardly get to use them so engaged in the gravity of the wife or whatever, that I lost any semblance of self. How much of your passions are shelved by being self-sacrificing in a toxic marriage?

I have just a deeper level of focus, ability to get things done, ability to think clear, make better decisions, to be me. I feel like I have been detoxed of estrogen toxicity.

I don't feel isolated at all , I think of the following charles burkowski poem :

roll the dice

If you’re going to try, go all the

way.

otherwise, don’t even start.

if you’re going to try, go all the

way.

this could mean losing girlfriends,

wives, relatives, jobs and

maybe your mind.

go all the way.

it could mean not eating for 3 or 4 days.

it could mean freezing on a

park bench.

it could mean jail,

it could mean derision,

mockery,

isolation.

isolation is the gift,

all others are a test of your

endurance, of

how much you really want to

do it.

and you’ll do it

despite rejection and the worst odds

and it will be better than

anything else

you can imagine.

if you’re going to try,

go all the way.

there is no other feeling like

that.

you will be alone with the gods

and the nights will flame with

fire.

do it, do it, do it.

do it.

all the way.

you will ride life straight to

perfect laughter, its

the only good fight

there is.

Title	Guys, I have the chance to start over and could really use some veteran guidance
Author	Chapter40
Upvotes	0
Comments	2
Date	September 29, 2018 5:08 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/9jyo5p/guys_i_have_the_chance_to_start_over_and_could/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/guys-i-have-the-chance-to-start-over-and-could.483540 https://theredarchive.com/post/483540

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