My girlfriend (18) was very promiscuous has slept with around 70/80 people.

71 points172 commentssubmitted by Manfra5 to r/relationship_advice

Warning: Will be quite long, and might shock a few people.

So yeah, this is true. I met her 3 months before she was 18 and i was 19. I am 20 now and i have only slept with 4 other girls, 3 of them being in a relationship. I have been going out with my Girlfriend for 8 months and i really do love her. I was aware she slept about a bit from the start of the relationship due to hearing it through open conversation, but i had no idea how bad it actually was. She does not regret her past and she even has labeled herself as the S word and has told me that is what she was before she met me, this was her words, not mine as i have never called her it once, ever. She was aware of what she was and she was proud. I heard her call herself this multiple times before it really got to me the more i fell for her and i would also hear about where she has had sex (Alleyways, guys cars, up mountains beside her house, ANYWHERE). I guess i didn't really care at the start because i was not in love with her like i am now, i just brushed it off as i believe its okay for girls to go and have sex as much as they want. Who am i to judge? I found out her numbers are seriously high a few months into the relationship, we are talking 70 or 80 guys and she lost her Virginity at 14 so that works out 70/80 people over 3 years. Wow. Although when i was asked what my numbers are by my girlfriend, i told her, then asked her and she replied saying around 25. Once i caught her out with the lie she said she simply didn't want to make my feel bad. But that is not a reason to lie, especially when i was asked first and i never wanted to even know her number.

She was obviously comfortable sharing this information with me and trusted me to tell me, she told me she let me know what she was like before me, before anyone else had the chance to tell me. I appreciate her honestly but still i think about it to this day, not all the time but it does enter my head from time to time and i guess it makes me feel awful. We have talked about it and i explained to her how it made me feel as i did not want to hear about all these guys having a go at her and how it makes me feel how easy she was and to be fair nothing has been brought up since, it is never talked about anymore.

I have been told things about her from people extremely close to her to which she admitted were true which. Some of these things are:

  1. A video circled Facebook once of her having sex in a car, although you could not see her face i am sure most people knew who it was, people do talk after all. One guy videoed her through the car window having sex with another guy because he found out where they where. These 2 guys were mates. That's her take on it. But let's say another birdie told me that they were both in the car and one was just videoing the other having a go at her. Who knows, maybe they took turns, i will never find out. She was 15 at the time and the guy in the car was 19/20. That is crazy i know but she said she wanted it even though he could of gone to prison for that kind of stuff. She always went for older guys.

  2. She has slept with 3 guys in one night. 5 in a week and during a period of 5 weeks she slept with about 20 people which was when she was at her worst. (I hear these from her neighbour because my girlfriend likes to help her out all the time as she is bed ridden and they are super close, but remember, my girlfriend confirms these things when her neighbour has brought it up in conversation and the conversations can sometimes be dirty talk so it was unavoidable until i put a stop to it). She was always switching between guys for sex, just must of liked having multiple people to chose from when she was bored and wanted some action.

4.She also thought she was seriously pregnant one time and did not have a clue who the dad was. She rarely used condoms, even though at the very beginning of the relationship she told me she did use condoms outside of a relationship, but this was not true i came to find out. I did get tested, and i am clean but this was like 6 months into the relationship so i was pretty angry at the time that she lied to me. I don't think it was right hiding the high count from me and using condoms as it risked my sexual health.

  1. She literally would go out in the middle of the night with guys and just go to an alleyway or a field or in their car. Crazy thing was her mum knew she was doing this, just let her get on with it.

  2. I was told she literally had sex on the side of the road on the pavement a few doors down from her house in the middle of the night. A neighbour even had to come out and tell her have a bit of respect. This one i did not bring up to her, i couldn't and my heart sank when i heard it.

So, yeah i have struggled to come to terms with the fact that the girl i love was like this before me and i have NEVER met or even heard about a girl who acted this wild when it came to sex. She clearly has changed and i can see that, to go from all that to commit to me for 8 months. A few guys have popped up to her before on Facebook messenger etc but she shows me when they do and she ignores them or simply tells them that she has a boyfriend. All her family say i have changed her and im the best thing to ever happen to her, they all love me because i am decent guy. Despite her past she is actually very caring and considerate and she really does love me. We pretty much spend all of our time together now when we are free. I trust her completely so it is not about trust. It is just the thought of her sleeping about so much with random people changed my perception of her for a while and i have been working on it. I am not just going to give up easily and throw away something that was so great before i found all this out. She treats me right and i don't want to make her feel bad about her past so i am trying my best to forget it, struggling with it though. The reason i came here to share is because i do not think there are many other girls out there aged 18 that would have a high number like that.

She does come from a hectic household, quite a few of them take drugs. She has had depression before and has felt lonely a lot in her life. I think she has had also had self esteem issues. Could all these be a factor in why she would have such a high count? I asked her why did she do it myself, not that it was wrong but just why so many people. She told me that she basally wanted to feel wanted? I'm thinking maybe seeking validation through sex? Not sure if that's the real reason or not, but that is the one she gave me. Look, i understand girls can have sex as much as they want, i understand why girls would want to sleep with a lot of guys, its fun and if you enjoy it then why not? I accept and understand i may be a little insecure about her past, but come on, 70 odd people in my eyes over 3 years and only being 18 is extreme, is it not? Anyway, any advice on how to deal with all this would be great, i don't want to break up with her because we love each other so much and i hope i can put this phase behind me. I hope that is all it is, a phase. She has give me no reason to break up with her (Apart from a lie or 2, would you seem them as red flags?) and has been a great girlfriend to me so far, i am not someone who is going to hurt her feelings because of something that happened before she knew i even existed. She deserves someone who can accept her past and that is what i am trying my best to do.

I am so sorry this was so long to read. Any input/advice to my situation is appreciated, whether positive or negative as i am prepared to hear some things i probably will not want to hear but i have just tried to give you as much info as possible.Thank you for taking your time to read this and i look forward to hearing some replied.

TL;DR - Girlfriend was EXTREMELY promiscuous in her past, right up until she met me. Her total count is around 70-80 guys. My relationship with her has been great until i found all this out, any advice on how to try forget or even accept it and move on? I have been trying for a bit, its working, but taking a lot of time.