This will be my first post ever on reddit. I am currently at the gym. Lifting. This post will be long and may be filled with inconsistencies in format please bear with me.

I am an American of Dominican descent. I have been following TRP for about a year. At the same time I gained an LTR for the first time ever. Mind you I am 25. I got a feeling you know how that goes lol.

A few things about myself. I have been blessed with a big family filled with wonderful and awful people. The duality of it has taught me a lot about myself. My grandfather must have been extremely red pilled as he fathered 30 kids with various women. I never met him but my family talks a lot about him. He is my fathers father.

I suffer from bipolar disorder and major depression. At my worst i weighed 99 pounds at 5'7. I remember my first real deep depressive state came when my grandmother was dying of oral cancer. This was back in high school. Before she died she told me i was the most important person in her life and basically confessed that she was going to die soon and wanted me to know i was going to do great things in life. Me 17 at the time didn't know how to deal with this so i just stopped visiting her after this talk. It is by far the greatest regret i hold in my life. It has eaten me up over the years. Seeing her at her death bed. Shriveled up and unable to communicate devastated me to my core.

My father (her son) came up as a farmer who worked hard his entire time. He came to this country and worked a shitty job saving up so that i could have a better life. My uncle (mothers brother) who never respected me or my father verbally and physically abused me growing up. Most of my cousins call me crazy. They have made fun of me and put me down on a regular basis.

Back to my uncle. His daughter told me that his hatred for me comes from the fact that my mother in her youth once had a lover that was very rich, but she chose to start a family and life with my very poor and blue pilled father. He felt that my mother would have been in a much better position in life if she had just been like 99% of women and just go with the money.

My father and mother went into business with this man in the 2000s, invested their life savings and to no one's surprise failed miserably. My father worked 7 days a week. 6 am to 11 pm. He then got a stroke and since then has completely changed. He now has Alzheimer's while his in his 50s. I never understood the extent of the mental damage he endured until recently in my 20s. Mind you my mother did not divorce my father or seperate from him. She has sticked with him till this day and is his primary caregiver. I respect her immensely for her character but i treat her like shit. Why? The same way i treat my mother my LTR treated me. Karma.

I get no pussy in the States. I really hate this country. The feminist agenda undermines natural human behavior. I hate how they criminalize normal sexual desires. In the Dominican Republic i get pussy every single time i go for the past 5 years. Why is that? The women there understand their position in life. And they celebrate sex as a good and healthy thing in life. Being bipolar also makes it so that when i am happy i am extremely happy to the point where i feel high and cannot sleep.i am filled with an overconfidence that is infectious to women.

The LTR i had lives in the Dominican Republic. She has a daughter. The father of her daughter is a famous musician that does not provide money to help pay for the essentials of life. He does now. But not when we started our relationship.

I know people on this thread see raising another mans child a weakness. But i think back to the life of Marcus Aurelius. Who was adopted and became the most powerful man in the world albeit he was fortunate enough to have royal blood and nobility at birth. He credits his predecessor for giving him the knowledge and love With that power he did great things. His son turned out to be a piece of shit who undid all the progress his father made. I am of a mind that giving another human being your love like a fathers love to a son or daughter is all that matters. I do not want to have kids of my own because i don't want them to suffer the same problems i have to deal with on a daily basis. I look at her daughter who is about 2 and see boundless potential.

My LTR ended when i broke frame and started to be honest with her in the inner turmoil i was dealinh with. The demons i am in constany battle with. I tell her how i'm scared they are going to win and she is feeding these demons through her actions. That i dont have a job and cant provide for her. That i want to give her everything in the world. Putting her on the ultimate pedistal akin to the pope's Golden Throne. From there on she didnt want anything to do with me and started fucking with this very rich business man who gave her an iphone 7.

I have a history of having manic episodes where i talk and talk and talk and talk. Words just flow like a river in my mind and i tell people how i view the world. I do not believe in religion. It is one of the great lies of humanity that has chained us for millenia.

However i do believe in a god. A higher power. Thats what it is. Power. Kanye says his a God. He is. So are you. And so am I. We as humans have the insane ability to turn imagination into reality. Thats what it is insane. Because sane people are taught to think a certain way. Insane people think in complex and unfathomable ways for most of us to comprehend. However i have come to understand that like a cup that overflows when too much liquid is poured. Our mind is the same way. Too much knowledge will short circuit the mind and we are left with mentally disabled people. Even the term mentally disabled shows how negative another persons way of thinking can be viewed as flawed and dangerous. I would much rather think of myself as mentally gifted.

I have worked for Google and met a lot of intelligent people. The smartest people on this planet. I can go in detail to what i learned but i think i'll just point out the most important. MONEY IS NOT THE ANSWER. MONEY IS A TOOL. MONEY WILL ENHANCE OR UNDERMINE YOU. SUCCESS DOES NOT EQUAL TO BEING "RICH".

You can have 5 dollars in your pockets but if you act like its 5 mil you will pick up women just the same. Its all mental. Marcus Aurelius stresses heavily on the power of the mind. On the shortness of life. On the need for balance with oneself to be in balance with nature and the universe. Suffering is the key to this all.

I am by no means an expert in TRP. In all honesty i am a blue pilled beta cuck. But i have seen my red pilled potential. I see that the things this subreddit preaches is very true and if you internalize these experiences from other people you will be where you want to be with women, money and peace of mind. Peace of mind is the most powerful and seductive trait a human being can ever have. Looks matter to an extent. But your energy is what really matters. You can be freddy crooger and still manage to fuck these bitches.

Conclusion:

If you are suffering. This is perfect. It is the first step to internalizing TRP lifestyle. Do not fight it, embrace it. Use it to fuel your desires and actions. Do not chase money. Chase what you love. Do not be afraid to love someone or go into an LTR. You will gain valuable experience and grow from the failure of it. I can say confidently that 99% of people on this subreddit understand the pain of loving someone. Without that loss of love we would have never made the effort to IMPROVE ourselves.

Everyone is going to die. People don't seem to grasp how fleeting life is. We aren't immortal. What makes us immortal is our legacy. I want to be Marcus Aurelius in life. I want to have that same understanding of life that he had. A man who lived almost 2000 years ago. Thats a powerful thing. Thats what we do as humans we emulate past knowledge and build on it. Make it our own. "YOU ONLY LIVE AS LONG AS THE LAST PERSON WHO REMEMBERS YOU".

GET THE FUCK UP. GO LIFT. GO RUN. GO LOVE. GO EXPERIENCE LIFE BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE. LEARN. GROW. IMPROVE. ABOVE ALL ELSE FUCK EVERYBODIES OPINIONS. TAKE THEIR OPINION IN. UTILIZE IT. OR IGNORE IT. EITHER WAY TIME WILL MAKE IT IRRELEVANT.

Mic Drop