Jordan Peterson has been getting a lot of love and hate on the sub lately. Aside from his interviews and lectures, Peterson has also written a book titled 12 Rules for Life. After reading the book, I found 6 of these rules to be useful to set a strong foundation in our lives.

The Rules:

1. Stand Up Straight with Your Shoulders Back

Some people have bad posture and that is much more meaningful than you may have thought it would be. Peterson takes the behavior of lobsters as an example. Lobsters can change their behavior according to their serotonin/octopamine levels. Lobsters fight all the time. When a lobster wins, it’s serotonin levels go up in contrast with octopamine levels. On the other hand, low serotonin/high octopamine lobsters are characterized as losers and are very likely to vanish at the first hint of challenge that would bring them trouble.

A similar effect applies to people. As soon as we meet someone, we size him up to see where they fit in the social hierarchy. When serotonin levels fall, depression appears and a tendency to form a hump as you walk becomes visible to others. Instinctively, they are very likely to think low of you, making you one of the easiest targets if they decide to take advantage of someone. Acting like a loser will make people think of you as a loser. Fixing your posture may be very simple, but very important at the same time to help you get started back up again.

So, stand up straight with your shoulders back and dare to express your thoughts and desires. You have at least the same right as others, if not bigger sometimes.

2. Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible for Helping

Peterson states the fact how most people have self-contempt and there are many times that they don’t even realise it. In fact, on most occasions people take care of their family, friends and even their pets but neglect their own self. Of course, helping those you love and care about and taking some responsibilities on behalf of them is very good, but we must realise that we must do the same thing for ourselves, for our own good too. This may be something simple such as keeping our room and things clean or something much deeper such as having self-respect and considering ourselves an important person with potential, rights and desires.

Besides, the more we look after ourselves the more healthy and powerful we’ll be to support the ones we care. On the contrary, if we neglect ourselves then we’ll make a pattern of bad mistakes, our life will get worse not only for us but for people around us too. A person’s actions echo, sometimes in ways that cannot be imagined.

3. Make Friends with People Who Want the Best for You

Almost every person has two kinds of families. The one that he is born with and the one that he chooses by himself. Friends. The selection of these important people is not to be taken lightly as they often have an impact in our life. It is your obligation to keep away people who are making your life worse or hurting you. It is your right to decide who should be close to you and who shouldn’t. There are no ethical dilemmas about that. If you have a friendship that you wouldn’t recommend to someone, then why are you still keeping it? End it, now!

So why many people are not making good choices? That’s because surrounding yourself with good and healthy people is harder than the opposite. Being good and healthy requires strength, daring and the determination to choose the difficult, but right paths. Consequently, standing up near such a person you have to be strong, daring and determined person, ready to accept some harsh criticism from time to time which would benefit you.

On the other hand, being around bad and unhealthy people is much easier to choose. Being on bottom is much more convenient than being on top. Bad people will make you adopt laziness, easy unhealthy life, pity, tolerating being hurt or even hurting others for your benefit.

4. Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday, Not Who Someone Else is Today

People always have the tendency to compare themselves to other persons who seem or happen to be more successful and have a better life. Even if you see or believe that someone you know is living a better life than yours, comparison is meaningless and unhelpful especially when you are a grown up. Besides, you never know what different problems he is facing or whether he is very happy or not, since you only see a slice of his life.

What’s really beneficial, is to focus on yourself, on your life and its surroundings. Seek what’s bothering you in order to change or improve it and honestly think whether or not you are able to do something about it. If it’s not something within your power then leave it alone and focus on something else, with lower demands. Moreover, you can’t always change your life for the better in just a couple of days. Some things require some time and effort. Take one step every time and live by the thought that you are in a better shape than yesterday and that you’ll eventually reach higher and higher, if not the top.

5. Set Your House in Perfect Order Before You Criticize the World

Wherever we look, we see many abnormalities and a lot of things to complain about. It’s true that life is tragic, for most people at least, and surely there is malevolence. However, if we dwell on it there is no benefit at all since we become more and more resentful. Cursing and criticizing all the time is pointless and we should start taking more meaningful actions.

First of all, we have to correct ourselves. Being busy of criticizing the society all the time makes you neglect yourself and you ignore that you may be similar to what you are despising. So, take a good care of yourself first, stop doing anything that you know to be wrong and start doing and saying only things that make you proud. The first step is to bring peace to your household and after that you can criticize the state and attempt to contribute to change the society you are living in for the best.

6. Pursue What is Meaningful (Not What is Expedient)

Meaning is about the way you protect yourself from all the suffering that life entails. All people get emotionally wounded by life, so they have to find something to make that pain worthwhile. According to Peterson, meaning is like an instinct or a form of vision that lets you know whether you are in the right place or not. The right place is somewhere in between chaos and order. Staying safe within order all the time and facing only things you understand then you won’t develop any further and won’t grow. On the other hand, if you stay within chaos then you’ll get lost. The best choice is to leave your safe point and try to risk for anything that’s worthwhile, without losing your path to chaos though.

Expediency is what people do to get themselves out of trouble here and now, but the drawback of this is that they sacrifice the future for the present. That means that expediency is only good for temporarily escaping your problems. To countermeasure this, aim high. Stop doing whatever will make you avoid your problems temporarily and try to see around. Understand what things you can improve and improve them. You’ll eventually gain knowledge and more experience but be cautious not to fall in the trap of becoming arrogant and remain humble.

Peterson also mentions the importance of being aware of our weaknesses. These may be our secret resentments, cowardice, hatred and other failings. Learn to be lenient when you accuse others because all people conceal evil impulses.

In a Nutshell
  • Stand Up Straight with Your Shoulders Back
  • Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible for Helping
  • Make Friends with People Who Want the Best for You
  • Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday, Not Who Someone Else is Today
  • Set Your House in Perfect Order Before You Criticize the World
  • Pursue What is Meaningful (Not What is Expedient)

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