That's right. A "thing."

My family, in its broken, divorced, double re-married disaster have not only labeled me as some"thing", my ex partners, my "friends," have all labeled me "a thing."

Over time, and especially when I was in my teens, I didn't care for having a girlfriend or listening to opinions. But take a boy not yet a man and expose him to the opinions and jokes of married men and women, of girls that essentially outnumber the men. He starts to crack. Starts to think, "you know maybe I need to be proactive, I should respect women more, I should be less offensive..." Etc. Etc. Etc.

Let's zoom ahead.

I eventually had this relationship with a girl who we will refer to as Betty. Betty seemed ignored by many. Had mental problems. It was constantly her crutch -- you know, like being secretive or not talking when you ask, "what's wrong?" This bitch is fucking crazy. She would cut her arms up like spiral ham and expose her tendens and would try to hide her scars and the fact she apparently collected her own blood in jars and hid them under her bed.

But all my life, being told to "love people as they are," and "women are innocent, men are messed up," and stupid shit like "if a woman likes you she'll act mean to you." All of this propaganda and what I believed was truth. I actually tried to look past that.

And when I did it was too much. My questions were "creepy." Keep in mind I never asked her about either the cutting or blood. I just liked her and pretended it was nothing. But over time Betty started seeing anyone. Men. Women. Didn't matter. Forget all the hours of fucked up things she told me, none of that matters with those feminist agenda experts.

Whatever relationship we had (since she couldn't decide if I was a FWB, lover, or creep) was coming to a close.

A few years in this Discord server she had browsed so often, she apparently had chatted up a storm with a bunch of white Knight douchebags who (I guess) sucked up to her because she's a woman. She called me a stalker and had a good handful of guys convinced I was the fucked up one.

They up and confronted me by (ironically) stalking me and called me out on public chats going so far to say how apparently great she was and that I know nothing about this friend of mine I've known for almost a decade. It was like the ultimate fuck you. I was left in a relationship limbo only to get cucked and called the weirdo.

I confronted her. Called her out. Said fuck this and all these years wasted trying to mend something she'd been trying to break at the same time. Being a thoughtful friend just to become her fucked up play "thing."

And all of that time and effort wasted. Beating myself up over trying to become someone I wasn't.

And slowly I realized. All my friend circles. Most of my family. I was a bartering tool or I filled a void. I wasn't a person any more. I was the third wheel. I was an extra body for the party. I was their joke. I wasn't anybody anymore.

I became a "thing." And these motherfuckers are gonna be pissed when they find out I went my own way.