I don't post a lot so my formatting is probably awful and i will be mostly likely editing this post quite a bit after submitting it, but they will be QOL changes, not to the content.

I recently discovered this sub and after reading much of the side bar and both red and blue posts there isn't really much confusion on my part, most things stated here seem like common sense facts that i have grown up knowing and understanding.

I particularly liked seeing the phrase between a man and woman "what's yours is yours but what's mine is ours" It is something that as i grew into an adult i recognized in my parents relationship & at several points as i matured my father would at points acknowledge and (to some degree) confide in me.

But there is one thing in particular that irks me, like when you make your bed and can't get your sheets to lie just right, on the whole everything is good but there is something that is just off.

I see it mostly in posts by new members or someone who had just recently decided to "take the red pill" that their views on abandoning their beta past is by internalizing a view of being "alpha" that doesn't to my eyes seem to be the ideal situation.

Ii struck me that many people striving to become alpha, or taking the red pill, becoming unplugged, w/e, seemed to believe it was necessary to engage in overly "aggressive" (for lack of a better word) behavior. This includes many things from not debasing yourself to try and earn sex from your so, which is kind of the point, to going to the other end of the spectrum and paying them minimal attention and encouragement to openly flirt with other females and pay them minimal attention in an attempt to show that you are the greater in the relationship and they are the lesser.

What i see a lot of lately even on the rest of reddit is that when people refer to something as alpha or refer to themselves as alpha, they are using the word to describe a very aggressive-type refusing to relent attitude. And when people

people i have introduced to this sub, or people that post threads

talking about how they can't wait to convert and stop being little beta bitches and are ready to "get back at the rest of the women" and they will "start issuing commands" And honestly it makes me cringe because in my eyes the mindset of "being alpha" has transformed from just being a normal person and recognizing your worth, not allowing anyone to make you do anything you don't want to do, saying what you want, etc. etc. has changed into one of "avoidance of weakness at all costs" and only expressed through overt expressions of dominance, and that is what turns me off of the whole "alpha" thing.

Which is not what it should be about, if you want to stop being a beta, the way to go about it is not to become a hardbody and throw your weight around and challenge anyone who might offend you. It's to grow up and be your own man, to understand your own value(s) and to never let anyone challenge that. If you feel that that guy who cut ahead of you in line at the dippin' dots line at Busch Gardens is stepping upon your honor and trying to make you less of a man by doing so then sure you can punch him if you want, but it you get angry and cause a scene because you want the girl your with to thing your a tough guy who doesn't put up with any shit, then your not really being "alpha" your still being a little beta bitch because you move according to another persons whims.

I respect my so and she respects me, so no i will not sit in all day and watch chick flicks with you and no i will not spend 2 hours looking at pictures of dogs and clothes on the internet giving you my opinion on each one, but yea i will get up and get you something to drink or go run to 7-11 to get you a green tea even though i don't really want to Because i wouldn't want to spend my time with someone i didn't care about and wasn't willing to do things for. I will stand up for myself and i will not do things that i don't agree with, but it is perfectly acceptable to make some "sacrifices" (although i don't consider them to be) for you, because i know that when you might want to order out or eat something simple, when i ask you to make something for dinner, you'll get in the kitchen and do it.

The reason for my first post here is to discourage anyone who comes in here and see's all the terminology of beta&alpha to understand that this is not fps or justiceporn and that being alpha is not the same as being a disruptive obnoxious tool that demeans and belittles women. They are still humans and deserve the exact amount of respect as anyone else. ~initially.

Sorry, more of a rant than i intended, but /u/hiyuh described what i'm trying to get across perfectly

I'd say one of the most important pieces of advice for a newbie is to make peace with whatever feelings of bitterness or resentment you have towards women. It's totally fine for the first few stages, but one of your main goals should be to get past it.

tldr; Becoming an "alpha" is more about becoming secure and confident in yourself, and not about becoming an aggressive dominant person who seeks to put women in their place since they are inferior to you.