If you’re interested in me cook me a meal and leave it at my front door. If it’s not the food I desire at the time I’m going to accuse you of sexual assault and possibly rape for making unwanted advances into my stomach. You should already know what kind of food I eat.

P.S. I’m not interested in you at all, I just want food. So if you come knocking at my door without food then you’re going to jail.

Women’s translation

If you’re interested in me then you must be extremely handsome, successful, shower me with gifts, take me on dates, and flirt with me. If you’re not as handsome or as rich as I desire I’m going to accuse you of sexual assault and possibly rape for making unwanted advances. You should have read my signals and my body language.

P.S. I’m not interested in you at all, I just want your money. So if you try hitting on me without any money then you’re going to jail.