A friend of mine in his early fifties got married and divorced in his twenties. During the divorce, he lost his apartment, half his earnings, and a large portion of his social network. Due to financial and psychological stressors he was also forced to relinquish his business, and faced unemployment for a time. From this instance he discovered the hidden risks involved in marriage, and it changed him forever. Leaving behind his miserable past, he decided to make a break for it, and skipped over to the other side of the world to start afresh. After his Awakening he decided not to date anyone seriously until he was in his late thirties or forties. He decided to avoid committed relationships with women altogether, and only sought casual sex and one-night stands. He never let women have control over his mind or finances again, and became stronger as a result of his heartbreak.

Today he is married to a woman who is younger than him, and overall is happy. However he protects his finances immensely, and has hidden bank accounts and assets that are ‘off the record’, which his wife doesn’t know about. Whenever they get into arguments he says to her “Leave then – I don’t need you. No one is forcing you to stay: go on – off you go”. He is very Alpha in his mindset. Even though he protects himself immensely, he is still wary of the concept of marriage, and believes that it is never truly safe for men. When I caught up with him recently, he said to me “Put a rock on your heart in your twenties. Do not get attached to anyone, because you will probably love her more than she loves you, and the risk isn’t worth it”. I thought this was wise; particularly because he was referencing the notion that men posses an idealistic form of love and are the true romantics, while women possess an opportunistic form of love, and value men for WHAT they are. I had read about this concept in Rollo Tomassi’s works, but it was reassuring hearing it come from someone else well-seasoned in relationship dynamics. In light of my friend’s wisdom, I will keep a rock over my heart.