I am making this as I feel I owe it to all of you. The amount of PM's and responses have been incredible. Many of the decisions i have taken has come from people who supported me on reddit. Both the negative and positive comments have helped me and I would like to thank all of you for taking the time to write me and support me.
Yesterday I was having my phone spammed by many family members from her side, and friends. The only person I responsed to was the sister with part of the conversation where she and the sister talks about it all. I didnt include anything in the response except an image the conversation, and the sister went pretty much silent after that (until later).
During the day i contact the co-owner of my business and let him know the full story, he told me to take as much time as I need and even adviced me to head off to a vacation (this guy is a childhood friend of mine, i dont trust anyone as much as him). My plans have changed a bit, I am still staying at this hotel for another few days and then perhaps moving on to the friend I was supposed to go to. I called him up and let him know I want to head off somewhere, perhaps a trip to somewhere nice, another country or something, its all still not yet 100% decided, but I know i will be leaving for somewhere. He said he would be up for joining me if it could be during the upcoming weeks since he is still on holiday from his work. We will see how that turns out...
Later in the day I responded to my wife, the calls kept coming in less frequently since I sent that message to her sister... i had this gut feeling she was going to come with an excuse of some sort. I picked up the phone and first thing i hear is a "torn up voice" if u can say that in english. I could hear she had been crying all day and was in a messed up state. She kept begging me to come back, that there is an explanation to everything and that she loves me. She I have misunderstood the entire situation... I could hear the sister and someone else in the background (dont know who the other person was, maybe her friend?). Anyway I told her to explain it to me right then and there. She said because I only seen a small part of the conversation its all been misunderstood, that I should come back home, that she loves me and that i have taken a rational decision to leave without a real reason. During the entire conversation i was just giving really short, empty answers in a cold way like "yea, ok, what, explain it to me"... After she told me its all a misunderstanding I told her to call me back in 10 minutes, and to check messenger. After I hungup, i sent her the entire conversation log, with a ton of screenshots (not all of them, but most of the important ones). It didnt take 2 minutes for her to call back, crying hysterically saying sorry for everything, saying she wants to die rather than to lose me. She said she was "forced" by her friends and sister to have fun one last time, that she needed to let all the energy out before stepping into a marriage for life. I was just quiet during most of it. The more I didnt talk and just said "ok" the more she was crying.
She started telling me I can fuck other women if I want to get back at her, or that she will tell everyone about what she did so i can take her back, that she will do anything it takes for me to come back and that this was a mistake of her life and that she hates her sister and friends for this... I told her fucking other woman was not something I needed, because the moment i met her and started loving her, she was the only woman i needed, i didnt need to meet or sleep with someone to know the best thing of my life was waiting at home. The sister was telling her stuff in the background but I couldnt hear, i dont know what the sister was telling her or if she was getting angry at her or something.
She kept begging me and begging me, and i just told her, if she comes clean to her parents and family i will think about it. After that she started saying something but I just hung up.
For like half an hour my phone goes silent without much response, and her father calls me up and apologizes for everything, he and his wife know what happened now, and he is so sorry for all of this. He told me he understands how i feel and that he didnt raise his daughter to do this, he said he understand if i dont want to see her again but that I always will be welcome to him and that I am a good guy. His wife basically then takes/steals the phone from him and tells me she did a mistake and she regrets it and it will never happen again and that we can move forward from this. She tells me her daughter has never been this destroyed before. I politely tell her I appreciate her opinion and then say i have to go and goodbye.
My ex-fiance calls me back and beggs me again saying she told her parents and also sent a text message to her friends (our mutual friends) about what had happened. She then keeps crying asking me when i will come back to speak with her, and say we can even go to counselling and that she will pay for everything. She kept apologizing and apoliogizing on the phone and I didnt say much.
After some time I just told her not to cry, that she shouldnt be apologizing because single women (like herself) are allowed to do these things and i hope she finds mr right. She starts crying even harder and her sister takes the phone and say sorry and tells me everything can be fixed and that I said I would take her back now that she told everyone what she did. I told the sister I only said I think about it, and now that I have I realised i dodged a bullet and wish her and her sister the best. She then tells me her sister is turning suicidal from all of this and that this is going to lead into a depression that can take her life. The only thing I said after she told me that was "its a good thing you are close to her so you can make sure she doesnt kill herself then, maybe take her to a doctor or soemthing". After this I just hung up.
My phone has been blowing up with messages from mutual friends, her and her sister saying sorry and basically begging me to come back. I dont plan on responding. I honestly feel ALOT better right now, like I can move on. I will be going for vacation this upcoming week i think. If someting more happens I will update this post.
Maybe I will update in a month or couple of weeks, i dont know. Once again big thanks to all of you who supported me here on reddit and gave me so much support.
I dont know when I feel okay to start dating/meeting women again but we will see. Once again thanks to you all and sorry for alot of wrong writings, I am not a native english so hope you can read without issues.
Thanks!
EDIT 1: Thank you to whoever gave me reddit gold I appreciate the support ALOT. I however will not be using this account for anything else except this post or maybe a couple of updates in the future, is it possible to refund it to whoever gave it to me somehow?
I would also like to add my best friend (co-owner of my company) hired someone to take care of the company for us, and also booked a month long vacation for the both of us. I am lucky to have such a good person in my life, and i hope you all are able to find a friend like this (i would do the same for him). Hes been a friend since we were kids and if i lost all other people i know he would be there for me, so big thanks to him!
Also I dont know what more to update at this point, alot of things have happened so if you have any questions feel free to ask and I will reply as they popup in the comments (i didnt know what other things you were wondering about me or the situation). Aslong as it doesnt give away my full identity I dont mind answering them.
I also think about making an update post in a while, when would you want it (i have had many questions about making future updates). In a month? when i am back from vacation?
Once again thanks for all the support
EDIT 2: My friend went over to get the ring from her but she refused to give it to him and told me she would not give it to anyone and that I have to pick it up by myself. I dont know why she is still acting like this. I am thinking of just letting the ring go and be able to have a clear mind.
there doesn't seem to be anything here