Every time this commercial plays on the television I have the overwhelming urge to vomit and send a clip full of 9mm through my flat screen simultaneously. I can't be alone here either.

Tender, lackadaisically-paced acoustic guitar under a soft female voice-over, lauding the good souls of mothers everywhere while a steady stream of smiling, laughing women and children appear on screen. Each shot of mother+baby is taken in a very well-apportioned home. The earth-tones of the designer furniture glow in the reflection of the sunlight, drenching the room through the floor to ceiling windows. Little baby taking his first, awkward little steps on the hand-scraped, contemporary hardwood floors. Mommy is so happy, her perfect mouthful of pearly white teeth emerging from behind an enormous grin while frolicking with baby in the lush, perfectly landscaped backyard.

As the narrator continues, she babbles on about what a good mother "you" are because you know what is best for your babies and you know that Zulilly dot com is the best site to buy items exclusively for women and children. You are such a great person and an unique soul for possessing a pussy, an internet connection and your husband's credit card.

What gets to me is this; the entire tone of the commercial is meant to convey a feeling that these "trendy moms", with their hoop scarves, leather boots and skinny jeans, should be WORSHIPED. Their sacrifice, their selflessness, their struggle... their burden is one to be revered in silent, submissive respect. THEY are the heros! More so than a war hero, the guy who stays behind to detonate the nuclear bomb on the asteroid and save all of humanity, or the pathetic schmuck that has to pay the credit card bill because his materialistic, whore wife has to buy worthless shit everyday because "its 70% off!".

Returning home after another 80 hour work week, this tired-eyed shell of a man says, "70 % off? Super job honey, did you get me those new socks I have been asking you for?"

His dear, devoted wife replies, "No, I had such a crazy busy day and just couldn't find a moment to get those for you. After I dropped the baby off to daycare, finished my nail appointment and got home to check the deals on Zulilly, I was wiped out! After all of that I really needed a nap before it was time to pick the baby up, then swing by the drive thru for family dinner. What's wrong, didn't like the Big Mac I went OUT OF MY WAY to get for you?!?!?"