Today i went to this house to help with my dad’s work, there was a nice lady and she had 2 daughters. One was my age and the other one was 2 years older than me. they were both solid 8/10s, but what made them even more better was they fit exactly everything i have ever sought in a woman, religious, beautiful, hobbies, pure ect. i went in their rooms a couple of times to do chores for my dad but i just kept looking at their things, how would their life be and how easy it would be being this pretty. I even edited her drawing(my age) cause i like to draw and made it more detailed. I keep avoiding eye contact, intense social anxiety strikes. I am very bland and quiet when im working with my dad. I even tried to tidy up the older ones room for gods sake, she was so goddamn beautiful though, didnt have the balls to look in her eyes only when she wasnt looking. Note that these girls were of the same heritage as me, so that makes them absolute diamonds for me, and they arent stuck up bitches snapchat.

after this, work finished. Hopped in the car w my dad and i began to feel it. A low sinking feeling in my gut, thoughts of her especially the old one, shes 18. i feel so goddamn depressed and fucking sick, nausea and feeling like shit. I am redpilled, but not my whole brain. My brain turns beta simp mode emotionally, but not fully. How do i stop this? I am destroying myself for no absolute reason, caring about a stranger. Putting a fake illusion of the stranger, why is this so? The reality that i’ll never have her hurts so bad, but what would i have to gain by having her? Why would i want her? I dont know bros, just help me get loose of this beta simp mentality. I am sick and tired of it. She will be in my thoughts all day, maybe even dreams, i will use her image to fall to sleep.

H E L P.