I got married young to a very religious woman. She was a virgin, came from a good family, etc. About 5 years into the marriage, I became less religious, even though I still had strong values. While she was unhappy with this, she said that it was not a big deal and pushed to have children. Having children was something I wanted, and I eventually gave in about 9 years into the marriage and we had the most beautiful baby girl. After 1.5 years of loving my daughter and watching her grow up, my (ex)-wife took our daughter, went into hiding overseas, and sent a nasty email saying I was a loser who is going to hell for not belonging to her religion. I still do not know where they are and will likely never see my daughter again. The justice system has done nothing, and my daughter has most definitely forgotten about me regardless.

After awhile, I finally decided to start dating again. I was cautious, but I met a girl who I thought was perfect. She had a fantastic family, was adorable, and we could just sit on a park bench and be happy together. It was absolutely magical. I was doing things like singing to her (I'm a singer), writing her poetry, and sweeping her off her feet. Her family loved me and kept hinting about me being their future son-in-law. One day, after a magical evening at a fair where we kissed atop the ferris wheel, she broke up with me over text, saying that she "still had healing to do from a previous relationship." I then find out that she was still actively using dating apps the entire time we were together, and she said that since we were "just dating" and "not officially an item," she saw nothing wrong with it. Her father said that he was sorry it didn't work out and that both he and his wife felt strongly about me.

Again, I was devastated. After sharing yourself utterly and entirely with a person and giving them all of your love, you are easily discarded. It does not matter if you are handsome, successful, romantic, and fit; you will still be abandoned at some point, either emotionally and physically in a dead marriage or for someone more (temporarily) exciting. I still don't know how to find peace in life, but it most certainly cannot be in a romantic relationship, and I doubt that I will ever trust another human being again. I thought I would become an old man and be surrounded by my children and grandchildren at my end of days, but I will likely be alone in a nursing home, or my body hauled away from my home when a neighbor finally notices the smell. The only person you ever truly have in life is yourself, as horrible, terrifying, and cruel as that may sound.