Guys how do you get the fear of an ex out of your mind? Recently entered a relationship (my first one) with someone which i knew 1-2 months before that. Once entered the relationship, it started. The good morning, do you love me, good night, controlling what to eat and what to not eat, girl friend rights, your family/my family and much more. These were too much for an introverted for me to handle. I even lost my virginity to her ( she fucked many guys before that ) and did my level best to make sure she was happy. But as time goes by i realized, she was broken, insecure and unhappy no matter what i did. Deep down i knew she was like that, but the feelings were too strong. The relationship started being very toxic and i had a hard time breathing (felt like i had no personal place). I asked once for some time alone, but during that one day period, she messaged her ex early morning and started smoking out of sudden. When asked she said she doesn't give a fuck. Slowly, the love was completely gone and replaced by fear and hate and i started getting panic attacks. I went to her and broke it off because of situation and took complete blame for the situation. First she was ok. But as time goes by she started disturbing me and my family. She called up my mom. Came to my university and was using sex as a leverage which was very hurtful. Even her one of her ex started calling me. Been 6 months after the breakup and we were together just for 2 months.

So the questions are

  1. How do get over that fear of her disturbing or come searching for me or attacking my family? ( Being asian and from a traditional family, sex is kinda like taboo here.)
  2. I kept feeling guilty for breaking her heart and keep playing the scenario in my head.
    - what if i knew her character before that
    - what if i set proper boundaries

- what if i didnt have sex with her ( she was the one who bought the hotel room and wanted to sleep beside me, i just
cant help myself ) ( its like she was testing me whether i stayed or not after that cause she did say thank you for
staying after the session)
- before going out she did say she will be broken up if i left which lead to more pressure(and guilt) on my side
How do i get over this guilt and fear cause its slowly eating me inside.

That's when i saw this group and really felt not alone. i don't have much people to talk to about this. Still new to MGTOW and i really want to achieve my dreams and not be controlled by someone just for their selfish needs.