This is not mere theory; I know this.

I impregnated an 18 year old when I was 27. When she told me she loved me, I couldn't say it back. We had a scare early in the pregnancy where I thought she might be having a miscarriage, and I texted her, "I love you." This is hard to convey correctly, but deep down I felt that I was sending the message to my unborn child.

I do believe that a woman loves her children in a way she will not love her man. My mother loves me and just views my father as some sort of fool, rather openly, and they're still married.

Men, it's not surprising that our love is one sided. It's normal because we want to prevent potential harm from happening to our offspring, and women want more than one man to be ready to provide for them. Why should she put all her eggs in one basket and then be destitute if you suddenly die or leave?

We are not living in a system designed to be this way. The legal construct is very slow to adapt to technological influences. There was a time when you couldn't easily locate a man who abandoned his family. My grandmother's father disappeared to California and left her mother trying to work and raise her on a cafeteria cook's wages. Men who "went their own way" in decades past were often dirt bags who left behind small children who really needed them. "Damaged goods" thinking back then meant that the abandoned mothers had few prospects.

Things are different, now, of course. Tech has changed the dynamics drastically, and politics have run amok. I think it's still useful to think about where we've come from historically and to recognize that aspects of the game are totally natural, therefore not evil. We are choosing not to play the game now, in this time and place. If things were different, our prospects would be different.